Shoku Baby

Shoku Baby. This is what "Grandma," the matriarch of Shoku Japanese Restaurant has called me. I am told this is a term of endearment, and that she really likes me. This is great, because Grandma is a tough cookie to please. She definitely adds quite the interesting element to my new job at Shoku. Grandma is the mother of the owner and is a permanent installment at the establishment. I was prepared for this even before going in for my first interview after coming across a customer review online titled Mean Old Lady. Since I just got this job, and this blog is under public domain, I will stop there. For the record, I haven't run home in tears at the end of the night yet, and I haven't had a night off since I was hired a week ago.

I am putting my master's degree to good work in the food service industry, as you can see. It has been approximately three years since I was a waitress, and back then it was at Happy Kobe, a tiny little 20-seater restaurant (plus the sushi bar). The owner (Tencho) was the manager was the boss was the everything we had to answer to. He let the servers eat during work, rice if we wanted and one free sushi roll per shift. My mouth still waters thinking about the double crunch spicy tuna roll, one that is unmatched at any sushi restaurant I have been to since. If there was a customer with a history of being rude or difficult, Tencho would encourage us to say that we were out of rice and couldn't serve him or her. I wore sandals most days, which is totally against health code, but oh-so-comfortable (especially compared to the horrible wounds my closed-toe shoes are inflicting upon my heels at Shoku now). We always got weekends off because the restaurant was closed. Every fall Tencho would rent a cabin and throw a party for the employees where we would eat and drink to our hearts' content for free. To this day I maintain that my job at Happy Kobe was the best job I have ever had. (Border's being a close second). My only complaint was that at the end of the night, the tips were divvied out in an unfair way, with the two waitresses splitting 40% and the two sushi rollers splitting 60%. Considering that the sushi rollers got paid more per hour in addition to the fact that people tip thinking that it will all go to their wait staff, not the other workers, I felt this was rather unfair. And until recently, I thought that Tencho just invented his excuse for why he would not allow women to roll sushi (because their hands are hotter than men's). But I am finding out that this is a common belief in Korean and/or Japanese culture. I still need to look into the reality of this claim, but I respect cultural beliefs, so I will let that one slide for now.

Now I get to keep all of my tips because we bus our own tables and serve as host(esse)s, so no more tipping out. I am making more at Shoku than I was teaching Spanish at OU, which speaks more of how educators are underpaid than of how waitresses are paid well. I have a feeling that working in nonprofit will also not be as lucrative as working on tips, but I continue seeking employment in that sector, now focusing on finding such a job Columbus until I can save up enough money to move back out of my parents' house.

More to come soon on my optimistic and ambitious new ventures and pursuits, including documentary filmmaking and electronic music creation. Maybe my artist name should be Shoku Baby? I have some other ideas, too. Of course I'm thinking of names before I even get my music equipment and software, but I'm well on my way. Sold my bass to Music-Go-Round  for store credit, and plan on going back to get some new stuff once I do a little research. Any help/ideas on Akai APC20 hardware and Ableton and ProTools would be much appreciated!

Psychological Self-Diagnosis

Commercials for medication often bring out the hypochondriac in all of us. Maybe you have Restless Leg Syndrome if your feet fall asleep, or Fibromyalgia if you have joint pain and are in your 60's. You may be in dire need of Depression Medication A if...
..you get tired at night. If you are sad sometimes. 
 A new diet medication might be right for you if you if...
...want to eat more than once a day and if your body weight doubled between the ages of 7 and 17. 

I do not deny that people do suffer from the conditions listed above, but it is obvious from the way treatments for these conditions are being marketed that pharmaceutical companies are more concerned in gaining profits than they are with getting their medication to the right people (surprise, surprise). But it is not only the pharmaceutical companies pushing new medical conditions. Books, TV, movies and magazines also do their part to sell us on who we are and what we have, even where there isn't a financial push from a profit-making mechanism (well, maybe ratings have a little something to do with it).

When I read Girl, Interrupted, I was certain that I was also afflicted with the main character's Borderline Personality Disorder. With such generalized and generalizable symptoms, maybe you could feel this way, too. Taken from an informative pamphlet I obtained from a local behavioral health clinic:
The personal may feel confused about- and make sudden changes in- his or her goals [and] direction in life, for example...People with BPD may see themselves as constantly changing, depending on the situation they are in. As a result, they often change jobs, goals, etc...The person may feel the constant need to fill a void in life.

Check, check and check. I feel like I am surprising people (and myself, actually) every day when I explain my newest job application. Sure, I am also getting more and more desperate, but I have gone from applying to teaching positions, to environmental and women's non-profits, to a sushi restaurant and a farm internship in Colorado. I am once again considering applying for PhD programs, but not for Spanish or Latin American Studies as my undergrad and grad school experiences have been so far, but rather for geography. I have gone from academic-related careers to the nonprofit sector to interests in documentary film-making or sketch comedy writing. I get asked what it is I want to do in life and I freak out. Which goal do I say? All of them? Do I try to pick one? One of my mentors was always instrumental in making me feel a little less crazy about my many, and at times diverging, interests. "Find a way to tie them together," she would tell me, and then throw me a couple of examples.

Sounds to me that this is more about my failure at  unemployment once again, and not about an actual psychological disorder. And I hope you do not judge me too harshly for drawing these conclusions, as I in no way intend to make light of psychological conditions (and hopefully it doesn't come through that way). There are legitimately many other symptoms that go along with Borderline Personality Disorder with which I also identify. I do not feel the need to go into those comparisons here, however. If you know someone with BPD and you know me personally, perhaps you could show me the ways in which my condition is different. Or maybe you're thinking, they really are a lot alike...

Obligatory Unemployment Update

This is not going to be an insightful post, but I want to get back in the habit of posting in response to articles, politics, books, etc., so check back later if that is what you're into. If you want to hear an update of my life, just keep reading faithful friends...

Festies
I have been having dreams about festivals nearly nightly. I did get to go to Camp Bisco after all, and it was the best festival I have ever been to, despite the fact that none of my close friends were in attendance. I got to know my travel buddies (Jessy and Ed) right quick. Jessy and I spend most of the sleep-deprived 12-hour car ride bonding over our similarities and differences. So hooray for new friends! And hooray for awesome music! I missed a couple of performances I really wanted to see, but I did get to catch Pretty Lights, Beats Antique, Major Lazer, Eskmo, Bassnectar, Thievery Corporation, Orchard Lounge, LCD Soundsystem, some Album Leaf and of course was rocking Silent Disco nightly.
So Camp Bisco did really satisfy my festival needs, although my dreams seem to suggest otherwise, and I still will be going to Papadosio's Rootwire Music Festival next weekend. That might have to be it for the summer, as my funds are dwindling away to nothing. Perhaps I will make it to SummerDance at Nelson's Ledges though, I love that venue, and I know many of my friends will be there. Will you?

The Job Hunt
Yes, it rages on. My CV is my most-opened document on my computer and I have nauseated myself with endless cover letters. I have gotten more and more desperate to find something, anything, that will be reasonable for employment. I have not yet closed the door on the possibility for the San Diego Americorps/USPIRG position, but as I said in a previous entry, it doesn't pay enough to sustain California life. Today I have applied to a sushi restaurant in Columbus, and the Ohio branch of the Universal Health Care Action Network. I emailed some OU folk to express my interest in returning to teach (I would probably only get 1 or 2 classes, if I'm lucky, and there might not be available openings even every quarter). Things are getting desperate.

Thesis
It's available online! Check it out here!

Other Happenings
I am not at liberty to share all of my current activities here at this time. I have been visiting various friends and I want to especially plug Alix Reese here, who is such a trooper, and such a joy to visit, despite how sad her current situation is. She is still full of life, totally with it, and funny as ever. She is at the Cleveland Clinic now, getting a pacer put in so that hopefully she will be able to get her voice back up and running again. Lip reading has been challenging, but Alix and her family are very encouraging, telling me that I am actually really good at it. I wish Alix all the best of luck in her upcoming operations, and I hope you will too. If you are a friend of Alix, please take some time to visit her at the Regency Hospital when she is back. Morning visits are the best. We could even go together!
I'm still working on that article with my advisor, and my part of the deal is almost over. So I went through with it, and some day soon people may be citing me! (Whitson and Myers 2011). Hell yes....

Unemployment

I wish I could start this out with "Unemployed and loving it!" Alas, I cannot. I enjoy the free time, but as my job hunt stretches out longer and longer, and as my checking account runs drier and drier, I can't even take advantage of all of my uncommitted hours of the day. What am I doing wrong? I am quite qualified for the jobs I am applying to, overqualified in many cases (which may be part of the problem). I decided to pursue my master's degree because the job market wasn't so hot when I got out of undergrad, and I did miss academic and mentally-stimulating discussion. But I am completely burnt out now on the world of academia, and the thought of applying to PhD programs makes my head spin. But after approximately 18 years of formal education, how can I be expected to do anything else? I may suck at job interviews and applications, but I do the school thing like a champ. So should I just bite the bullet and start looking into grad programs again? Part of me says yes, and part says no. I just wish one of these jobs would hire me so I wouldn't have to wrestle with this anymore.

I began to apply for jobs when I was still in school. I applied for Spanish teaching positions in California and Ohio, mostly at the university/community college level because high school teachers usually must have some kind of formal education degree. I guess two years of experience teaching a Spanish class at the university level isn't enough. After some careful consideration (and no call-backs), I started to think that maybe teaching Spanish isn't my thing. After all, I was offered the Spanish teaching job because they had some openings while I was a grad student, studying everything in Latin America except the Spanish language. Teaching Spanish has been a rewarding experience in that I used to be petrified of public speaking. Although I don't still don't exactly embrace it, I am now confident that if needed, I can prepare and present lessons 4 days a week, 30 weeks a year, no problem. I can even come out of it with good student evaluations. But does that mean it is what I should be doing? Probably not. Teaching Spanish has perhaps served its purpose for me.

So on to non-profits I went. I religiously check idealist.org for positions that involve any combination of international affairs, Latin America, Spanish, environment, and women's rights and health. One of the most promising positions that came to me was an Americorps position in Seattle, which would not be very good-paying, but at least would offer an educational award at the end that I could use to pay of student loans. I researched the organizaion and its mission statement, the open positions and their tasks, and come phone interview time, I felt I nailed it with my strong background in topics such as institutionalized racism, something the organization worked with. And then I didn't get the job. I hadn't done a formal job interview in years, and even my last one was for Border's Bookstore. It wasn't exactly the toughest interview one might have to endure.

So now I have applied for unemployment. Seeing as how the only requirement pretty much is that I need to be unemployed and seeking employment with at least 2 jobs per week, I thought it would be a walk in the park. But it is a long and arduous process, and (if I'm lucky) I'll be employed by the time I cut through all of the red tape required to receive unemployment. I have another phone interview on Monday, but I still fear that this one will end up much like my last one. It's frustrating because I think I just may not be a strong interviewee, but I do great work when I set my mind to it. I think phone interviews are particularly rough on me, because there are a lot of awkward pauses/talking over one another/no gauging their expressions on the other end, etc. Most people I know with career-track jobs have gotten them through family members, and I just don't have any family connections that I could capitalize on. Does anyone here have the hook-up? Can I blog for cash?

Instead of writing here, I should be working on the one assignment I have right now. I might have mentioned that my advisor asked me to write an article with her about the perceptions in the media of cartoneros, or trash pickers in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I had been working with her on this article from a document-analysis standpoint for about two years, and I was ecstatic when she asked me to co-author this article. But now that I am out of school I am less enthused about the whole thing. I should be spending more time trying to find a job and less time working pro-bono on an article (though really she is doing me the favor since she is doing much more of the work). Still, if I really don't see myself pursuing higher education, I don't think it is necessarily to my advantage to co-author an academic article.

In any case, as you can see, I am in a sort of limbo/funk. I am broke, but am "rich with free time" as my friend Lola put it. But unless I can make some real skrilla with free time, I will eventually have to move back in with my parents and seek part-time employment with Borders again. It's tough in the streets, y'all.

Frustrations over our 21st Century Capitalistic World

It is no wonder that the peace-loving hippies of the 1960's sold out, turning in their flower power for a corporate job and a briefcase. Nonprofit work just does not bring home the bacon....

Here is some context for the rant that will follow: Through his Masters in Public Administration Program, Jose has been working tirelessly on a business plan for the Athens local Habitat for Humanity for a ReStore, which is a community shop where low-income individuals and families can purchase discounted building materials. Although he gets a little school credit, he is essentially working for free, often 20 hours a week on this project. Recently, one of the key coordinators for this project told Jose that with his knowledge of the business side of the project, Jose himself could manage the ReStore when it gets up and running. The salary for such work? $20,000. I am not certain, but I am pretty sure that health benefits are not included.

Here at OU, Group 3 hires, professors with PhDs mind you, are only offered $2,500 per class per quarter, and once again, no health benefits. In fact, it is a well-known fact that educators in general are not paid enough, considering how crucially important their job is. Education truly is the foundation of the lives of not only academics, but everyone, really. We all start out with a relatively clean slate, I believe, and through our families, our communities and our experience in school, we become who we are later in life. But I diverge.

Why are nonprofit workers and educators paid so little when their professions mean so much to so many people? Why does an executive at Proctor and Gamble get paid a buttload for essentially selling products? If Obama really wants to make this nation CHANGE, then why does he not provide incentives for people who stray away from the profitable sector in lieu of a career more...I'll use "altruistic" for lack of a better term, but Ayn Rand would surely hate me. I guess it is because the US thrives a lot more off of profit-building than making the world a better place for the marginalized.

In Jose's words: "Do you know who probably does have a program with incentives like that? Chavez." And he is right. Granted, every day I like Hugo Chavez a little less. There just isn't enough room for him AND his ego. But that discussion is for another day. One thing that Hugo Chavez has done right has been his social programming.

So what kind of incentives do I think should be offered? Maybe people should be (financially) encouraged to study certain subjects, like education and social work. And then there is the age-old argument that teachers should be paid more. In my opinion, teachers have the most important job in the world, and I though that long before I ever even thought I might teach. And I hear the counter-argument over and over again: "If you pay teachers more then people will try to become teachers because they want money, not for the love of teaching." Well, Obama is apparently trying to get the ball rolling to pay teachers more, but what worries me is that it is "based on how their students perform." Not that I don't think teachers should be paid more if their students perform above average, but it is the whole idea of this "performance" that bothers me. Nowadays, teachers are handed scripts to read verbatim in their classes, and McDonalds sponsors health class curriculum. Eventually under this system, will physical teachers' bodies even be necessary? Or will we just head our classrooms with a computer and fit the students with shock collars to provide disciplinary measures?

Once again, I diverge. Moving on to non-profit work... How are we supposed to make any kind of living on the wages of nonprofit work? I do not think many people are. That is why for the most part we age, get more conservative, and sell out just like the hippies. If you have mouths to feed, a family (and yourself) to take care of, you're going to head over to Proctor and Gamble rather than Habitat for Humanity if they offer you four times as much money plus benefits in exchange for the same skill set.

When I set out to do my thesis research, I expected to see the headquarters of environmental organizations brimming with mothers fighting for environmental justice for their communities and the futures of their children. Instead, thirteen out of the nineteen women I interviewed were not mothers at all. Of those six that are mothers, five of them only started their environmental work after their children became independent.

I would like to say that it isn't all about money. I want to live comfortably but I don't need luxury. But my generation has been a spoiled one, and the one coming up is even moreso. I know my parents scraped and struggled to give me the world. Although neither of them went to college, and I do not know their salaries per se, I know that if I were not an only child, my family would have struggled financially to produce the lifestyle I have become accustomed to. A la Daniel Quinn's Ishmael, I am already too "Taker" for my own good. I am too weak to just surrender my Taker lifestyle in exchange for a leaver one. But what compromises am I going to have to make in my future if I want to live a life of service in education or the nonprofit sector? Does my worry about money run completely contrary to what I should believe as an "altruistic" individual. Maybe Ayn Rand had a point, but it saddens me that people in the US (and now the world over as globalization leaves no stone unturned) are encouraged to be so selfish, so individualistic.

I could go on and on and on, but I will stop here. Am I going to sell out some day? One more thing to worry about...