Shoku Baby

Shoku Baby. This is what "Grandma," the matriarch of Shoku Japanese Restaurant has called me. I am told this is a term of endearment, and that she really likes me. This is great, because Grandma is a tough cookie to please. She definitely adds quite the interesting element to my new job at Shoku. Grandma is the mother of the owner and is a permanent installment at the establishment. I was prepared for this even before going in for my first interview after coming across a customer review online titled Mean Old Lady. Since I just got this job, and this blog is under public domain, I will stop there. For the record, I haven't run home in tears at the end of the night yet, and I haven't had a night off since I was hired a week ago.

I am putting my master's degree to good work in the food service industry, as you can see. It has been approximately three years since I was a waitress, and back then it was at Happy Kobe, a tiny little 20-seater restaurant (plus the sushi bar). The owner (Tencho) was the manager was the boss was the everything we had to answer to. He let the servers eat during work, rice if we wanted and one free sushi roll per shift. My mouth still waters thinking about the double crunch spicy tuna roll, one that is unmatched at any sushi restaurant I have been to since. If there was a customer with a history of being rude or difficult, Tencho would encourage us to say that we were out of rice and couldn't serve him or her. I wore sandals most days, which is totally against health code, but oh-so-comfortable (especially compared to the horrible wounds my closed-toe shoes are inflicting upon my heels at Shoku now). We always got weekends off because the restaurant was closed. Every fall Tencho would rent a cabin and throw a party for the employees where we would eat and drink to our hearts' content for free. To this day I maintain that my job at Happy Kobe was the best job I have ever had. (Border's being a close second). My only complaint was that at the end of the night, the tips were divvied out in an unfair way, with the two waitresses splitting 40% and the two sushi rollers splitting 60%. Considering that the sushi rollers got paid more per hour in addition to the fact that people tip thinking that it will all go to their wait staff, not the other workers, I felt this was rather unfair. And until recently, I thought that Tencho just invented his excuse for why he would not allow women to roll sushi (because their hands are hotter than men's). But I am finding out that this is a common belief in Korean and/or Japanese culture. I still need to look into the reality of this claim, but I respect cultural beliefs, so I will let that one slide for now.

Now I get to keep all of my tips because we bus our own tables and serve as host(esse)s, so no more tipping out. I am making more at Shoku than I was teaching Spanish at OU, which speaks more of how educators are underpaid than of how waitresses are paid well. I have a feeling that working in nonprofit will also not be as lucrative as working on tips, but I continue seeking employment in that sector, now focusing on finding such a job Columbus until I can save up enough money to move back out of my parents' house.

More to come soon on my optimistic and ambitious new ventures and pursuits, including documentary filmmaking and electronic music creation. Maybe my artist name should be Shoku Baby? I have some other ideas, too. Of course I'm thinking of names before I even get my music equipment and software, but I'm well on my way. Sold my bass to Music-Go-Round  for store credit, and plan on going back to get some new stuff once I do a little research. Any help/ideas on Akai APC20 hardware and Ableton and ProTools would be much appreciated!

Book Review-Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity

Several months ago I wrote that I would later include an installment on some of the books I read for my WGS 589 class, which was a Women's and Gender Studies graduate capstone requirement to get my WGS certificate. I opened this document, wrote down a couple of lines, and forgot about it. I have decided to finish it in installments. I will begin with Julia Serano's 2007 book, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity.

This was a fascinating read and the first book I have read that really delves into transsexuality. It is worth noting, however, that this book is about a lot more than simply that, but goes into a much more detailed look at sexuality and gendered perceptions in general. I especially like that from the perspective of this author, the readers are able to hear how someone who has lived as both a man and a woman sees how she is treated differently now that she identifies as the latter. I find that many people resist the idea that sexism (and racism) is still prevalent in modern society. You don't have to go far to see this perspective, check out the links in my Rage on the Internets post for some examples. Because most men have not at some point lived as a woman, they are unable to make such claims, and because I have not lived as a man, I also have nothing to compare my own experiences to. (Speaking of all of this, is there a gender-focused version of Peggy McIntosh's White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack ? That would be a great intro to this topic. Also if you have not read that article, I suggest you drop everything to do so. It really opened my eyes when I first read it in 2004).

Back to Serano's work... It is a great source to introduce yourself to terms familiar in the trans community and also within other trans-, gender- and sexuality-studies. Actually, Serano's book struck me as a little jargon-y at first, but I caught on with her use of repetition. It might help to make yourself a glossary of terms while reading to keep track of things, especially if you will not get the opportunity to participate in group discussions about the book. Language is especially important to me when considering social change, and although I might not always practice using progressive and inclusive language, I believe in the introduction of new terms that do not marginalize (see Serano's discussion of "oppositional sexism" on page 108). Serano also shows how current discourse on trans- issues becomes a sort of divide-and-conquer strategy that illustrates the trans community as a small and nearly invisible group of individuals without a voice. She shows how cissexuals (non-trans individuals) end up creating and perpetuating the dialogue about transsexuality and transsexuals, which leads to misguided assumptions and ideas on the topic. It would be the same way if only white and black people talked about race, with no input from the myriad of other races that exist.
There is so much more to say about this book, but I am going to have to read and discuss it again before I can ever hope to wrap my head around the concepts enough to articulate them here. I conclude by recommending this reading as a relatively new publication on a subject that is age-old, but still rarely talked about openly.

Rootwire Arts & Music Festival 2010

Well, friends, we have reached the end of the first Rootwire Arts and Music Festival hosted by Papadosio. My only regret is that I didn't take more photos. I suppose I was having too good of a time absorbing the experiences firsthand to hide behind a camera documenting said experiences all weekend.

I am ecstatic to say that I was able to participate in the festivities as a volunteer this year. I started out flyering and spreading the word about Papadosio and Rootwire during Camp Bisco and in Columbus in the weeks leading up to the festival. I joined other volunteers the Thursday before liftoff to make signs and Tshirts, and perform other odd jobs that were necessary to bring it all together before Friday. I sporadically (wo)manned the Happy Helping (first aid and lost & found) Tent along with the front gate, and participated in other odd jobs such as errands to the outside world and trash duty. And in everything that I did, I was thanked, appreciated, and rewarded. There was nothing thankless at all about the work I put in this weekend, which made the work I did that much more enjoyable.

Although the weekend was exhausting, it was a rewarding experience full of love, dedication and community. The musical and visual artists, performers, participants, and organizers all came together to share a glorious weekend, and everyone played a role in making this festival memorable. The installations, decorations, performances, and art showed all festival-goers that this festival was for their pleasure and enjoyment. I'll probably never successfully remember all of the activities going on over the weekend, but they included guided morning yoga, environmental workshops, glass-blowing demonstrations, hoopers, fire dancers, acrobats, knife-jugglers, star gazing with telescopes, user-friendly and hands-on art installations, and lots of badass music all weekend long. It wasn't a Lollapalooza or even a Bonnarroo, bent ultimately on the bottom-line and the almighty dollar.

The most positive aspect of Rootwire was the feeling of community it created. Everyone was working for the benefit of everyone else, and that is a feeling you don't get at the big festivals and shows. I think this moment was solidified for me when I saw Jessy on the first night, and Alyese on the second night, tirelessly carrying the heavy flaming lanterns from one end of Kaeppner's pond to the other, just so we could look at their beauty floating on the water. Every person who was able to lend a helping hand did so, often times even if they were not technically a volunteer. Things would get stressful, tasks would pile up, chaos would ensue, but by the end of the night I would see Annie, Kim, Jess, Alyese, Grace, Katie, Jessy, Ed, Julia and others smiling, dancing and soaking in the positivity that the festival had to offer "by the light of the stars."

I know that because of the overwhelming positive feedback from this year's festival goers, attendance next year is going to go up. Those of us who were lucky enough to be a part of Rootwire's first go are always going to look back fondly at this year's festival and talk nostalgically "remember when..." about the vibes of the 2010 experience and about how close-knit the community became. So many faces at each show were familiar ones, and walking from the front stage back through Magreenery Woods felt like walking through a forest planted with friends. By the end of the weekend, those you didn't know before became new friends, and the bonds between old acquaintances were solidified, whether it was at the front gate at 9am or the dance tent at 5am. I am truly, truly grateful to have been a part of it all. Rootwire 2010 and its workers and participants will remain in my heart forever. I cannot wait for 2011 and the chance to make this festival happen once again.

Thank you guys for making this possible, especially Ed (pictured left) who put this all together from the get-go. I will miss everyone who heads out to Asheville, NC to continue pursuing the dream.

And now I am off to sleep for an entire weekend's worth of hours, because I have never been so exhausted in my life and I already started my new waitressing job at the sushi joint yesterday right after the festival. Needless to say, that was a little rough, and tomorrow they might have to train me from scratch all over again.

Psychological Self-Diagnosis

Commercials for medication often bring out the hypochondriac in all of us. Maybe you have Restless Leg Syndrome if your feet fall asleep, or Fibromyalgia if you have joint pain and are in your 60's. You may be in dire need of Depression Medication A if...
..you get tired at night. If you are sad sometimes. 
 A new diet medication might be right for you if you if...
...want to eat more than once a day and if your body weight doubled between the ages of 7 and 17. 

I do not deny that people do suffer from the conditions listed above, but it is obvious from the way treatments for these conditions are being marketed that pharmaceutical companies are more concerned in gaining profits than they are with getting their medication to the right people (surprise, surprise). But it is not only the pharmaceutical companies pushing new medical conditions. Books, TV, movies and magazines also do their part to sell us on who we are and what we have, even where there isn't a financial push from a profit-making mechanism (well, maybe ratings have a little something to do with it).

When I read Girl, Interrupted, I was certain that I was also afflicted with the main character's Borderline Personality Disorder. With such generalized and generalizable symptoms, maybe you could feel this way, too. Taken from an informative pamphlet I obtained from a local behavioral health clinic:
The personal may feel confused about- and make sudden changes in- his or her goals [and] direction in life, for example...People with BPD may see themselves as constantly changing, depending on the situation they are in. As a result, they often change jobs, goals, etc...The person may feel the constant need to fill a void in life.

Check, check and check. I feel like I am surprising people (and myself, actually) every day when I explain my newest job application. Sure, I am also getting more and more desperate, but I have gone from applying to teaching positions, to environmental and women's non-profits, to a sushi restaurant and a farm internship in Colorado. I am once again considering applying for PhD programs, but not for Spanish or Latin American Studies as my undergrad and grad school experiences have been so far, but rather for geography. I have gone from academic-related careers to the nonprofit sector to interests in documentary film-making or sketch comedy writing. I get asked what it is I want to do in life and I freak out. Which goal do I say? All of them? Do I try to pick one? One of my mentors was always instrumental in making me feel a little less crazy about my many, and at times diverging, interests. "Find a way to tie them together," she would tell me, and then throw me a couple of examples.

Sounds to me that this is more about my failure at  unemployment once again, and not about an actual psychological disorder. And I hope you do not judge me too harshly for drawing these conclusions, as I in no way intend to make light of psychological conditions (and hopefully it doesn't come through that way). There are legitimately many other symptoms that go along with Borderline Personality Disorder with which I also identify. I do not feel the need to go into those comparisons here, however. If you know someone with BPD and you know me personally, perhaps you could show me the ways in which my condition is different. Or maybe you're thinking, they really are a lot alike...