The Kids Are All Right

Once again, my movie review is going to contain spoilers, so if you have not seen the film and don't want anything revealed ahead of time, read no more! I just will always put this kind of disclaimer up because one time I went to a friend's house while he was watching Fight Club, walked in around the time of the big Tyler Durden plot twist, and he knowingly let me ruin the entire movie before I got to watch it from the beginning.

Last night I saw director Lisa Cholodenko's newest film, The Kids Are All Right. Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening) are a lesbian couple living in Southern California with their two children, Laser and Joni. Fifteen year old Laser decides he wants to contact the sperm donor responsible for bringing him and his sister into the world. Legally, eighteen year old Joni has to make the contact with donor Paul. Paul is a smooth-talking 30-something organic farmer/restaurateur whose hyper-masculine persona and irresponsible behavior first gains the love and admiration of the family, then their disgust and anger.

Rather than to regurgitate the plot here further, I want to talk about the way the movie addresses sexuality. I do not want to overstep my bounds here, after all, Cholodenko is, herself, a lesbian, and thus I trust that as the director she portrayed the lives of Jules and Nic in a way that was similar to her own experiences. After all, Cholodenko herself had a child with her life partner through an anonymous sperm donor. That being said, I was mostly pleased with the way sexuality and gender were portrayed in The Kids Are All Right.

To begin, I liked that this was a film that did not fall into the typical trap of needing to characterize the lesbian couple as a copy of a male and female couple. I wouldn't say there was a butch or a femme role assumed by either Nic or Jules, which was refreshing to see, as I feel that lesbians are often portrayed as one hyper-masculine and one hyper-feminine partner. Sure, there was masculine and feminine performativity carried out by both characters, you can't strip away the fact that gender is inherent, or at least deeply associated with many different traits. According to US or Western social standards, Nic's short pixie haircut and no-nonsense attitude may be seen as a more masculine performance, while her sensitivity and maternal protectiveness is typically associated more with femininity. I don't try to fall into these generalizations, of course men can be family-oriented and women cut their hair short all of the time. But there are gendered associations with behaviors and appearances in every culture, and I doubt you can argue that the associations I just laid down there don't ring true, at least in the US. Thankfully, the film doesn't portray these characteristics and behaviors as dichotomous.

I also like the way that sexuality was interpreted as a more fluid and complicated matter than simply hetero or homo. Nic and Jules get their kicks in the bedroom while watching all male porn. In fact, Jules goes quite in depth about the fluidity and convolutedness of sexuality when Laser asks why she and Nic watch "gay man porn." Definitely a funny part of the movie as the hippie-esque Jules tries to be honestly explicit when explaining herself to her fifteen year old.

Jules does not turn out to follow an explicitly homosexual path as well, when she eventually comes to cheat on Nic with sperm donor Paul. I think this is where those who identify as strictly heterosexual or homosexual (i.e. 0 and 6 on the Kinsey scale) might have problems. I might be assuming here, but I have a feeling that many people thought, or even whispered to a fellow movie-goer "but I thought she was gay," at the onset of Jules and Paul's affair. And indeed, when Paul proposes that he and Jules move their relationship to an even more serious level after their affair is discovered by Nic, Jules says into the phone "I'm gay," maybe even further confusing many audience members. But I think this was a realistic exhibition of human sexuality, especially under the conditions that the family and Jules was under. Namely, Joni is an emotional 18-year old preparing to leave for college, Nic is stressed out about Paul's arrival and is downing more wine than ever, Laser is experimenting with drugs and hanging out with a sociopath, and Jules is trying to start a business and productive working lifestyle for the third time. Paul comes along and becomes Jules' first customer at her new upstart landscape design business, and this galvanizes the whole sexual escapade.

Although I delved into the sexuality of the film, The Kids Are All Right is a movie that really tackles family, growing up, infidelity and other issues that many mainstream or heterocentric films cover, but it shows how these same issues are present in nontraditional (in typical Western culture) family structures. Any of the problems that come up are neither further exacerbated nor smoothed over by the fact that Jules and Nic are in a homosexual relationship, and I think that is such a good step in a society where many still think that shows like the L-Word are the Last Word (heh) in lesbian relationship representation.

Obligatory Unemployment Update

This is not going to be an insightful post, but I want to get back in the habit of posting in response to articles, politics, books, etc., so check back later if that is what you're into. If you want to hear an update of my life, just keep reading faithful friends...

Festies
I have been having dreams about festivals nearly nightly. I did get to go to Camp Bisco after all, and it was the best festival I have ever been to, despite the fact that none of my close friends were in attendance. I got to know my travel buddies (Jessy and Ed) right quick. Jessy and I spend most of the sleep-deprived 12-hour car ride bonding over our similarities and differences. So hooray for new friends! And hooray for awesome music! I missed a couple of performances I really wanted to see, but I did get to catch Pretty Lights, Beats Antique, Major Lazer, Eskmo, Bassnectar, Thievery Corporation, Orchard Lounge, LCD Soundsystem, some Album Leaf and of course was rocking Silent Disco nightly.
So Camp Bisco did really satisfy my festival needs, although my dreams seem to suggest otherwise, and I still will be going to Papadosio's Rootwire Music Festival next weekend. That might have to be it for the summer, as my funds are dwindling away to nothing. Perhaps I will make it to SummerDance at Nelson's Ledges though, I love that venue, and I know many of my friends will be there. Will you?

The Job Hunt
Yes, it rages on. My CV is my most-opened document on my computer and I have nauseated myself with endless cover letters. I have gotten more and more desperate to find something, anything, that will be reasonable for employment. I have not yet closed the door on the possibility for the San Diego Americorps/USPIRG position, but as I said in a previous entry, it doesn't pay enough to sustain California life. Today I have applied to a sushi restaurant in Columbus, and the Ohio branch of the Universal Health Care Action Network. I emailed some OU folk to express my interest in returning to teach (I would probably only get 1 or 2 classes, if I'm lucky, and there might not be available openings even every quarter). Things are getting desperate.

Thesis
It's available online! Check it out here!

Other Happenings
I am not at liberty to share all of my current activities here at this time. I have been visiting various friends and I want to especially plug Alix Reese here, who is such a trooper, and such a joy to visit, despite how sad her current situation is. She is still full of life, totally with it, and funny as ever. She is at the Cleveland Clinic now, getting a pacer put in so that hopefully she will be able to get her voice back up and running again. Lip reading has been challenging, but Alix and her family are very encouraging, telling me that I am actually really good at it. I wish Alix all the best of luck in her upcoming operations, and I hope you will too. If you are a friend of Alix, please take some time to visit her at the Regency Hospital when she is back. Morning visits are the best. We could even go together!
I'm still working on that article with my advisor, and my part of the deal is almost over. So I went through with it, and some day soon people may be citing me! (Whitson and Myers 2011). Hell yes....

Time Flies Like an Arrow...Fruit Flies Like a Banana

I don't think I am the only one in these humid summer months with a fruit fly problem. I would like to think that the unsanitary kitchens of the neighboring apartments are the source of these little pests, but regardless of where they come from, they have been driving me crazy. Also, after discovering a year or so ago that fruit flies cause pink eye, I feel like my imagination is really running away with me as it now seems that the little guys are dive bombing my face to slap me with the good ol' conjunctivitis. I have read about several different ways to rid yourself of the pests, but this one is the only one that has worked effectively for me.

You need:
a jar
a sheet of paper (for goodness sake use something you were going to recycle or throw away anyway. No blank sheets! I used an old Spanish test so they can enrich their minds while they drown in vinegar)
masking tape
apple cider vinegar
piece or 2 of banana

Process:
Put about a centimeter of apple cider vinegar at the bottom of the jar, then put in the banana slices. Make a cone/funnel shape out of the sheet of paper and put this in the jar point-down (you may need to cut a little bit off the tip so it doesn't touch the bottom of the jar or touch the vingar. It also might help to tape the seam on the cone to keep it together). Make sure to tape around the opening of the jar very well so the flies can't get out.

What happens:
Fruit flies fly into the jar through the cone to get the banana, but for some reason can't find the way back out. They die in there. You will have a little fruit fly graveyard on your hands, but hey, they were trying to infect you with pink eye! You can put the jar right in the freezer to kill them off, then just put it right back out in your kitchen.

So you could have found this "recipe" if you were to search the interwebs, but I'm hoping that someone that reads that has been accepting fruit flies as an inevitability in their lives, and thus have not looked up solutions to the problem online yet.

< Doomed!

Old Friends

...as in friends I have had for a long time, not 60-year-old companions.

Isn't it great when you spend years apart from an old friend, and when you finally reunite, you pick up right where you left off? Sometimes you meet up with someone you haven't seen in a while, and it is just awkward. You interests have taken dramatic turns away from one another, your lifestyle or beliefs have drifted worlds apart, and trying to recap the years in between becomes more of a chore than a natural-flowing conversation. Luckily, I have had a couple of long-lasting friendships that emulate the former.

I am not always the best at keeping up with friends. I do enjoy talking on the phone and catching up with people, but more often than not, one has to call me for that to happen. Maybe it is part of being an only child that doesn't have me itching form immediate human communication when I find myself alone for an extended period of time. Luckily, I think many of my friends are the same way, so it isn't taken as a big offense when I haven't contacted them in a while. Plus, it makes for great conversation fodder when we do reunite. Blogging has also been a way to keep in touch with people, especially when they have blogs I can follow as well. In fact, that is definitely the number two perk of blogging, next to the cathartic experience it provides.

When I went to Lollapalloza last year, I met up with Jessica, a friend from High School who was living in Chicago for the summer. Despite the radically different surroundings we both found ourselves in, and despite the fact that we certainly have changed, I found myself slipping back into old mannerisms and cracking the same kind of jokes I would have 6 years ago. The conversation just rolled between us as we talked about everything we might have in the past. It had probably only been a short time since our last visit, but every time we are separated, we seem to go right back to where we left off.

Last week I went to Akron with Kim to visit Lizzy, one of my closest friends and former roomates from undergrad who has been jetsetting about the world, making it hard to always maintain contact. She moved to Washington for and internship, and it feels like she has been gone ever since, moving to Portland, OR, then Costa Rica and now Colorado. I got to visit her last spring break in Portland, and just like these other cases, it was like we were never apart. She met me at the airport with a hot chai, and took me around Portland to show me her life there. I spent time with Audrey as well, another good friend and roomate from college. It is so refreshing to know that these friendships can continue to thrive, despite time and distance apart. Visiting Lizzy in Akron-well, technically Bath, OH- felt just like it did when I went there all those years ago. Lizzy played the part of the ever-so-capable-stick-shift-driving-chauffeur, and even though we had never previously been to a Cleveland Indians game together before, she, Kim and I rehashed things just like old times.

Yesterday I met up with another friend from middle/high school, Leslie. I hadn't seen Leslie for about 3 years, and that was only one evening. Before that, it had certainly been another 3 years since we had really been together. She greeted me by saying that I looked the exact same as 3 years ago (and I get that a lot), and I would have to say she hadn't really changed either. It took a minute to negotiate where we would go, now that we're all grown up and back in Columbus. We decided to head to Surly Girl Saloon in the Short North, a place we had both been introduced to only recently. Go there, by the way, it is incredible. Definitely has a feel like the cantina Dandy del Sur I visited in Tijuana, (here's a song about it by Nortec Collective) but obviously a bit more high brow. A local street fest rendered that space insane, and we found ourselves wandering around, looking for another place to go. We ended up at Bodega, a bar/cafe in the Short North that serves a scrumptious beer selection. After one glass of liquid courage, we were chatting away like old friends once again, about anything and everything. While we tried to steer our conversations about the new happenings in our lives, we would inevitably make connections to the old times, which led to a lot of laughs. Leslie and I came together in our formative years, and I believe that we had a lot of influence on one another and how we have turned out to this day. It was so nice to feel at ease with her, instead of sitting awkwardly, searching for things to say. And since I am trying to make my way out west, it looks as though we might end up closer than we thought if her LA and my San Diego plans pan out.

And speaking of old friends, I will be going with Leslie tomorrow to see Alix in the hospital. Alix is still in similar conditions that I described in an earlier post, after stray gunfire hit her in the neck and spinal cord. But I keep hearing that she is in good spirits, and I am excited to go visit. I know it will be emotionally draining, but it will be good to see her. I hope I can come up with something nice to bring for her.

Unemployment

I wish I could start this out with "Unemployed and loving it!" Alas, I cannot. I enjoy the free time, but as my job hunt stretches out longer and longer, and as my checking account runs drier and drier, I can't even take advantage of all of my uncommitted hours of the day. What am I doing wrong? I am quite qualified for the jobs I am applying to, overqualified in many cases (which may be part of the problem). I decided to pursue my master's degree because the job market wasn't so hot when I got out of undergrad, and I did miss academic and mentally-stimulating discussion. But I am completely burnt out now on the world of academia, and the thought of applying to PhD programs makes my head spin. But after approximately 18 years of formal education, how can I be expected to do anything else? I may suck at job interviews and applications, but I do the school thing like a champ. So should I just bite the bullet and start looking into grad programs again? Part of me says yes, and part says no. I just wish one of these jobs would hire me so I wouldn't have to wrestle with this anymore.

I began to apply for jobs when I was still in school. I applied for Spanish teaching positions in California and Ohio, mostly at the university/community college level because high school teachers usually must have some kind of formal education degree. I guess two years of experience teaching a Spanish class at the university level isn't enough. After some careful consideration (and no call-backs), I started to think that maybe teaching Spanish isn't my thing. After all, I was offered the Spanish teaching job because they had some openings while I was a grad student, studying everything in Latin America except the Spanish language. Teaching Spanish has been a rewarding experience in that I used to be petrified of public speaking. Although I don't still don't exactly embrace it, I am now confident that if needed, I can prepare and present lessons 4 days a week, 30 weeks a year, no problem. I can even come out of it with good student evaluations. But does that mean it is what I should be doing? Probably not. Teaching Spanish has perhaps served its purpose for me.

So on to non-profits I went. I religiously check idealist.org for positions that involve any combination of international affairs, Latin America, Spanish, environment, and women's rights and health. One of the most promising positions that came to me was an Americorps position in Seattle, which would not be very good-paying, but at least would offer an educational award at the end that I could use to pay of student loans. I researched the organizaion and its mission statement, the open positions and their tasks, and come phone interview time, I felt I nailed it with my strong background in topics such as institutionalized racism, something the organization worked with. And then I didn't get the job. I hadn't done a formal job interview in years, and even my last one was for Border's Bookstore. It wasn't exactly the toughest interview one might have to endure.

So now I have applied for unemployment. Seeing as how the only requirement pretty much is that I need to be unemployed and seeking employment with at least 2 jobs per week, I thought it would be a walk in the park. But it is a long and arduous process, and (if I'm lucky) I'll be employed by the time I cut through all of the red tape required to receive unemployment. I have another phone interview on Monday, but I still fear that this one will end up much like my last one. It's frustrating because I think I just may not be a strong interviewee, but I do great work when I set my mind to it. I think phone interviews are particularly rough on me, because there are a lot of awkward pauses/talking over one another/no gauging their expressions on the other end, etc. Most people I know with career-track jobs have gotten them through family members, and I just don't have any family connections that I could capitalize on. Does anyone here have the hook-up? Can I blog for cash?

Instead of writing here, I should be working on the one assignment I have right now. I might have mentioned that my advisor asked me to write an article with her about the perceptions in the media of cartoneros, or trash pickers in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I had been working with her on this article from a document-analysis standpoint for about two years, and I was ecstatic when she asked me to co-author this article. But now that I am out of school I am less enthused about the whole thing. I should be spending more time trying to find a job and less time working pro-bono on an article (though really she is doing me the favor since she is doing much more of the work). Still, if I really don't see myself pursuing higher education, I don't think it is necessarily to my advantage to co-author an academic article.

In any case, as you can see, I am in a sort of limbo/funk. I am broke, but am "rich with free time" as my friend Lola put it. But unless I can make some real skrilla with free time, I will eventually have to move back in with my parents and seek part-time employment with Borders again. It's tough in the streets, y'all.