La Pajarita dice

New Blog for Film

2010-09-17T19:46:00.001-04:00

Hello there. It has come to my attention that a great deal of my entries are related to movies and movie reviews. I have decided to branch off a new blog about movies and film specifically, leaving this blogger La Pajarita space for other topics. Here is the link to my new film site, Medicinema. (http://melissasmedicinema.wordpress.com/). This is what I have done instead of preparing for my class which I will begin teaching on Wednesday. Oops!

To begin I will probably just be moving previous film-related entries from this blogger site to the new one. However, if you are interested in film, please follow this new blog as I will be posting new reviews, critiques and commentary in the near future. Thanks for your support!

The Cruise

2010-09-10T00:17:00.001-04:00

Although my time in Manhattan proper was limited during my trip to Electric Zoo in NYC last weekend, I think that my recent exposure to the city has inspired me to further explore it through the documentary/character study of Tim "Speed" Levitch in The Cruise (1998). It was on my Netflix Instant Queue for a while after seeing Edward Norton say it was his favorite movie of all time.

In the first minute of the film, I thought I might have trouble watching over an hour of this guy's somewhat grating voice, but by the end I grew to find it endearing. At any given time I was thinking that Speed was either mentally unstable, hilarious, wise, innocent or a poet. Or perhaps a combination of many of those. The main subject of the film is Speed's obsession with "The Cruise," the term he uses to describe his routes as a tour guide for the Gray Line double decker bus. Speed is a truly fascinating character who describes his love affair with The Cruise, the city and its geographical features in a way that is both blatantly sexual, but somehow naive or innocent in its delivery. While he speaks of wild sexual exploits frequently, he often seems too juvenile to have ever experienced a sexual encounter. He is particularly enamored by the architecture, whether it is the terra cotta buildings or the Brooklyn Bridge and beyond. He speaks of his relationship with the city and these buildings as if they were people, while he also rages about his disgust for human civilization. At times it is hard to remember that he is talking to a double-decker busload of tourists, most of whom are probably a little put-off by their intensely poetic and dramatic tour guide.

And in addition to presenting an interesting individual with captivating critiques and comments about the Big Apple, its people, and its nature, Speed crams a lot of actual information about NYC in his tours. Some of his information may seem eclectic, and uninteresting to the fanny-packing crowd, he is full of knowledge about the city. His description of Central Park alone is worth watching the film. In the film, you don't often see the reactions of the tourists to his words, but I often laughed just thinking about how they must have been reacting to his running commentary.

I'm going to go ahead and urge you to see this movie, because it is entertaining and oddly inspiring among a slew of flowery adjectives that I could throw in, but I'll leave that to Speed. Rotten Tomatoes gives it an 86%, and I would say that I might give it a little higher. Maybe a high B+.

Shoku Baby

2010-08-16T15:00:00.000-04:00

Shoku Baby. This is what "Grandma," the matriarch of Shoku Japanese Restaurant has called me. I am told this is a term of endearment, and that she really likes me. This is great, because Grandma is a tough cookie to please. She definitely adds quite the interesting element to my new job at Shoku. Grandma is the mother of the owner and is a permanent installment at the establishment. I was prepared for this even before going in for my first interview after coming across a customer review online titled Mean Old Lady. Since I just got this job, and this blog is under public domain, I will stop there. For the record, I haven't run home in tears at the end of the night yet, and I haven't had a night off since I was hired a week ago.

I am putting my master's degree to good work in the food service industry, as you can see. It has been approximately three years since I was a waitress, and back then it was at Happy Kobe, a tiny little 20-seater restaurant (plus the sushi bar). The owner (Tencho) was the manager was the boss was the everything we had to answer to. He let the servers eat during work, rice if we wanted and one free sushi roll per shift. My mouth still waters thinking about the double crunch spicy tuna roll, one that is unmatched at any sushi restaurant I have been to since. If there was a customer with a history of being rude or difficult, Tencho would encourage us to say that we were out of rice and couldn't serve him or her. I wore sandals most days, which is totally against health code, but oh-so-comfortable (especially compared to the horrible wounds my closed-toe shoes are inflicting upon my heels at Shoku now). We always got weekends off because the restaurant was closed. Every fall Tencho would rent a cabin and throw a party for the employees where we would eat and drink to our hearts' content for free. To this day I maintain that my job at Happy Kobe was the best job I have ever had. (Border's being a close second). My only complaint was that at the end of the night, the tips were divvied out in an unfair way, with the two waitresses splitting 40% and the two sushi rollers splitting 60%. Considering that the sushi rollers got paid more per hour in addition to the fact that people tip thinking that it will all go to their wait staff, not the other workers, I felt this was rather unfair. And until recently, I thought that Tencho just invented his excuse for why he would not allow women to roll sushi (because their hands are hotter than men's). But I am finding out that this is a common belief in Korean and/or Japanese culture. I still need to look into the reality of this claim, but I respect cultural beliefs, so I will let that one slide for now.

Now I get to keep all of my tips because we bus our own tables and serve as host(esse)s, so no more tipping out. I am making more at Shoku than I was teaching Spanish at OU, which speaks more of how educators are underpaid than of how waitresses are paid well. I have a feeling that working in nonprofit will also not be as lucrative as working on tips, but I continue seeking employment in that sector, now focusing on finding such a job Columbus until I can save up enough money to move back out of my parents' house.

More to come soon on my optimistic and ambitious new ventures and pursuits, including documentary filmmaking and electronic music creation. Maybe my artist name should be Shoku Baby? I have some other ideas, too. Of course I'm thinking of names before I even get my music equipment and software, but I'm well on my way. Sold my bass to Music-Go-Round for store credit, and plan on going back to get some new stuff once I do a little research. Any help/ideas on Akai APC20 hardware and Ableton and ProTools would be much appreciated!

Book Review-Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity

2010-08-11T22:59:00.000-04:00

Several months ago I wrote that I would later include an installment on some of the books I read for my WGS 589 class, which was a Women's and Gender Studies graduate capstone requirement to get my WGS certificate. I opened this document, wrote down a couple of lines, and forgot about it. I have decided to finish it in installments. I will begin with Julia Serano's 2007 book, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity.

This was a fascinating read and the first book I have read that really delves into transsexuality. It is worth noting, however, that this book is about a lot more than simply that, but goes into a much more detailed look at sexuality and gendered perceptions in general. I especially like that from the perspective of this author, the readers are able to hear how someone who has lived as both a man and a woman sees how she is treated differently now that she identifies as the latter. I find that many people resist the idea that sexism (and racism) is still prevalent in modern society. You don't have to go far to see this perspective, check out the links in my Rage on the Internets post for some examples. Because most men have not at some point lived as a woman, they are unable to make such claims, and because I have not lived as a man, I also have nothing to compare my own experiences to. (Speaking of all of this, is there a gender-focused version of Peggy McIntosh's White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack ? That would be a great intro to this topic. Also if you have not read that article, I suggest you drop everything to do so. It really opened my eyes when I first read it in 2004).

Back to Serano's work... It is a great source to introduce yourself to terms familiar in the trans community and also within other trans-, gender- and sexuality-studies. Actually, Serano's book struck me as a little jargon-y at first, but I caught on with her use of repetition. It might help to make yourself a glossary of terms while reading to keep track of things, especially if you will not get the opportunity to participate in group discussions about the book. Language is especially important to me when considering social change, and although I might not always practice using progressive and inclusive language, I believe in the introduction of new terms that do not marginalize (see Serano's discussion of "oppositional sexism" on page 108). Serano also shows how current discourse on trans- issues becomes a sort of divide-and-conquer strategy that illustrates the trans community as a small and nearly invisible group of individuals without a voice. She shows how cissexuals (non-trans individuals) end up creating and perpetuating the dialogue about transsexuality and transsexuals, which leads to misguided assumptions and ideas on the topic. It would be the same way if only white and black people talked about race, with no input from the myriad of other races that exist.
There is so much more to say about this book, but I am going to have to read and discuss it again before I can ever hope to wrap my head around the concepts enough to articulate them here. I conclude by recommending this reading as a relatively new publication on a subject that is age-old, but still rarely talked about openly.

Rootwire Arts & Music Festival 2010

2010-08-10T15:38:00.001-04:00

Well, friends, we have reached the end of the first Rootwire Arts and Music Festival hosted by Papadosio. My only regret is that I didn't take more photos. I suppose I was having too good of a time absorbing the experiences firsthand to hide behind a camera documenting said experiences all weekend.

I am ecstatic to say that I was able to participate in the festivities as a volunteer this year. I started out flyering and spreading the word about Papadosio and Rootwire during Camp Bisco and in Columbus in the weeks leading up to the festival. I joined other volunteers the Thursday before liftoff to make signs and Tshirts, and perform other odd jobs that were necessary to bring it all together before Friday. I sporadically (wo)manned the Happy Helping (first aid and lost & found) Tent along with the front gate, and participated in other odd jobs such as errands to the outside world and trash duty. And in everything that I did, I was thanked, appreciated, and rewarded. There was nothing thankless at all about the work I put in this weekend, which made the work I did that much more enjoyable.

Although the weekend was exhausting, it was a rewarding experience full of love, dedication and community. The musical and visual artists, performers, participants, and organizers all came together to share a glorious weekend, and everyone played a role in making this festival memorable. The installations, decorations, performances, and art showed all festival-goers that this festival was for their pleasure and enjoyment. I'll probably never successfully remember all of the activities going on over the weekend, but they included guided morning yoga, environmental workshops, glass-blowing demonstrations, hoopers, fire dancers, acrobats, knife-jugglers, star gazing with telescopes, user-friendly and hands-on art installations, and lots of badass music all weekend long. It wasn't a Lollapalooza or even a Bonnarroo, bent ultimately on the bottom-line and the almighty dollar.

The most positive aspect of Rootwire was the feeling of community it created. Everyone was working for the benefit of everyone else, and that is a feeling you don't get at the big festivals and shows. I think this moment was solidified for me when I saw Jessy on the first night, and Alyese on the second night, tirelessly carrying the heavy flaming lanterns from one end of Kaeppner's pond to the other, just so we could look at their beauty floating on the water. Every person who was able to lend a helping hand did so, often times even if they were not technically a volunteer. Things would get stressful, tasks would pile up, chaos would ensue, but by the end of the night I would see Annie, Kim, Jess, Alyese, Grace, Katie, Jessy, Ed, Julia and others smiling, dancing and soaking in the positivity that the festival had to offer "by the light of the stars."

I know that because of the overwhelming positive feedback from this year's festival goers, attendance next year is going to go up. Those of us who were lucky enough to be a part of Rootwire's first go are always going to look back fondly at this year's festival and talk nostalgically "remember when..." about the vibes of the 2010 experience and about how close-knit the community became. So many faces at each show were familiar ones, and walking from the front stage back through Magreenery Woods felt like walking through a forest planted with friends. By the end of the weekend, those you didn't know before became new friends, and the bonds between old acquaintances were solidified, whether it was at the front gate at 9am or the dance tent at 5am. I am truly, truly grateful to have been a part of it all. Rootwire 2010 and its workers and participants will remain in my heart forever. I cannot wait for 2011 and the chance to make this festival happen once again.

Thank you guys for making this possible, especially Ed (pictured left) who put this all together from the get-go. I will miss everyone who heads out to Asheville, NC to continue pursuing the dream.

And now I am off to sleep for an entire weekend's worth of hours, because I have never been so exhausted in my life and I already started my new waitressing job at the sushi joint yesterday right after the festival. Needless to say, that was a little rough, and tomorrow they might have to train me from scratch all over again.

Psychological Self-Diagnosis

2010-08-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

Commercials for medication often bring out the hypochondriac in all of us. Maybe you have Restless Leg Syndrome if your feet fall asleep, or Fibromyalgia if you have joint pain and are in your 60's. You may be in dire need of Depression Medication A if...
..you get tired at night. If you are sad sometimes.
A new diet medication might be right for you if you if...
...want to eat more than once a day and if your body weight doubled between the ages of 7 and 17.

I do not deny that people do suffer from the conditions listed above, but it is obvious from the way treatments for these conditions are being marketed that pharmaceutical companies are more concerned in gaining profits than they are with getting their medication to the right people (surprise, surprise). But it is not only the pharmaceutical companies pushing new medical conditions. Books, TV, movies and magazines also do their part to sell us on who we are and what we have, even where there isn't a financial push from a profit-making mechanism (well, maybe ratings have a little something to do with it).

When I read Girl, Interrupted, I was certain that I was also afflicted with the main character's Borderline Personality Disorder. With such generalized and generalizable symptoms, maybe you could feel this way, too. Taken from an informative pamphlet I obtained from a local behavioral health clinic:
The personal may feel confused about- and make sudden changes in- his or her goals [and] direction in life, for example...People with BPD may see themselves as constantly changing, depending on the situation they are in. As a result, they often change jobs, goals, etc...The person may feel the constant need to fill a void in life.

Check, check and check. I feel like I am surprising people (and myself, actually) every day when I explain my newest job application. Sure, I am also getting more and more desperate, but I have gone from applying to teaching positions, to environmental and women's non-profits, to a sushi restaurant and a farm internship in Colorado. I am once again considering applying for PhD programs, but not for Spanish or Latin American Studies as my undergrad and grad school experiences have been so far, but rather for geography. I have gone from academic-related careers to the nonprofit sector to interests in documentary film-making or sketch comedy writing. I get asked what it is I want to do in life and I freak out. Which goal do I say? All of them? Do I try to pick one? One of my mentors was always instrumental in making me feel a little less crazy about my many, and at times diverging, interests. "Find a way to tie them together," she would tell me, and then throw me a couple of examples.

Sounds to me that this is more about my failure at unemployment once again, and not about an actual psychological disorder. And I hope you do not judge me too harshly for drawing these conclusions, as I in no way intend to make light of psychological conditions (and hopefully it doesn't come through that way). There are legitimately many other symptoms that go along with Borderline Personality Disorder with which I also identify. I do not feel the need to go into those comparisons here, however. If you know someone with BPD and you know me personally, perhaps you could show me the ways in which my condition is different. Or maybe you're thinking, they really are a lot alike...

The Kids Are All Right

2010-07-31T22:35:00.009-04:00

Once again, my movie review is going to contain spoilers, so if you have not seen the film and don't want anything revealed ahead of time, read no more! I just will always put this kind of disclaimer up because one time I went to a friend's house while he was watching Fight Club, walked in around the time of the big Tyler Durden plot twist, and he knowingly let me ruin the entire movie before I got to watch it from the beginning.

Last night I saw director Lisa Cholodenko's newest film, The Kids Are All Right. Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening) are a lesbian couple living in Southern California with their two children, Laser and Joni. Fifteen year old Laser decides he wants to contact the sperm donor responsible for bringing him and his sister into the world. Legally, eighteen year old Joni has to make the contact with donor Paul. Paul is a smooth-talking 30-something organic farmer/restaurateur whose hyper-masculine persona and irresponsible behavior first gains the love and admiration of the family, then their disgust and anger.

Rather than to regurgitate the plot here further, I want to talk about the way the movie addresses sexuality. I do not want to overstep my bounds here, after all, Cholodenko is, herself, a lesbian, and thus I trust that as the director she portrayed the lives of Jules and Nic in a way that was similar to her own experiences. After all, Cholodenko herself had a child with her life partner through an anonymous sperm donor. That being said, I was mostly pleased with the way sexuality and gender were portrayed in The Kids Are All Right.

To begin, I liked that this was a film that did not fall into the typical trap of needing to characterize the lesbian couple as a copy of a male and female couple. I wouldn't say there was a butch or a femme role assumed by either Nic or Jules, which was refreshing to see, as I feel that lesbians are often portrayed as one hyper-masculine and one hyper-feminine partner. Sure, there was masculine and feminine performativity carried out by both characters, you can't strip away the fact that gender is inherent, or at least deeply associated with many different traits. According to US or Western social standards, Nic's short pixie haircut and no-nonsense attitude may be seen as a more masculine performance, while her sensitivity and maternal protectiveness is typically associated more with femininity. I don't try to fall into these generalizations, of course men can be family-oriented and women cut their hair short all of the time. But there are gendered associations with behaviors and appearances in every culture, and I doubt you can argue that the associations I just laid down there don't ring true, at least in the US. Thankfully, the film doesn't portray these characteristics and behaviors as dichotomous.

I also like the way that sexuality was interpreted as a more fluid and complicated matter than simply hetero or homo. Nic and Jules get their kicks in the bedroom while watching all male porn. In fact, Jules goes quite in depth about the fluidity and convolutedness of sexuality when Laser asks why she and Nic watch "gay man porn." Definitely a funny part of the movie as the hippie-esque Jules tries to be honestly explicit when explaining herself to her fifteen year old.

Jules does not turn out to follow an explicitly homosexual path as well, when she eventually comes to cheat on Nic with sperm donor Paul. I think this is where those who identify as strictly heterosexual or homosexual (i.e. 0 and 6 on the Kinsey scale) might have problems. I might be assuming here, but I have a feeling that many people thought, or even whispered to a fellow movie-goer "but I thought she was gay," at the onset of Jules and Paul's affair. And indeed, when Paul proposes that he and Jules move their relationship to an even more serious level after their affair is discovered by Nic, Jules says into the phone "I'm gay," maybe even further confusing many audience members. But I think this was a realistic exhibition of human sexuality, especially under the conditions that the family and Jules was under. Namely, Joni is an emotional 18-year old preparing to leave for college, Nic is stressed out about Paul's arrival and is downing more wine than ever, Laser is experimenting with drugs and hanging out with a sociopath, and Jules is trying to start a business and productive working lifestyle for the third time. Paul comes along and becomes Jules' first customer at her new upstart landscape design business, and this galvanizes the whole sexual escapade.

Although I delved into the sexuality of the film, The Kids Are All Right is a movie that really tackles family, growing up, infidelity and other issues that many mainstream or heterocentric films cover, but it shows how these same issues are present in nontraditional (in typical Western culture) family structures. Any of the problems that come up are neither further exacerbated nor smoothed over by the fact that Jules and Nic are in a homosexual relationship, and I think that is such a good step in a society where many still think that shows like the L-Word are the Last Word (heh) in lesbian relationship representation.

Obligatory Unemployment Update

2010-07-30T13:01:00.005-04:00

This is not going to be an insightful post, but I want to get back in the habit of posting in response to articles, politics, books, etc., so check back later if that is what you're into. If you want to hear an update of my life, just keep reading faithful friends...

Festies
I have been having dreams about festivals nearly nightly. I did get to go to Camp Bisco after all, and it was the best festival I have ever been to, despite the fact that none of my close friends were in attendance. I got to know my travel buddies (Jessy and Ed) right quick. Jessy and I spend most of the sleep-deprived 12-hour car ride bonding over our similarities and differences. So hooray for new friends! And hooray for awesome music! I missed a couple of performances I really wanted to see, but I did get to catch Pretty Lights, Beats Antique, Major Lazer, Eskmo, Bassnectar, Thievery Corporation, Orchard Lounge, LCD Soundsystem, some Album Leaf and of course was rocking Silent Disco nightly.
So Camp Bisco did really satisfy my festival needs, although my dreams seem to suggest otherwise, and I still will be going to Papadosio's Rootwire Music Festival next weekend. That might have to be it for the summer, as my funds are dwindling away to nothing. Perhaps I will make it to SummerDance at Nelson's Ledges though, I love that venue, and I know many of my friends will be there. Will you?

The Job Hunt
Yes, it rages on. My CV is my most-opened document on my computer and I have nauseated myself with endless cover letters. I have gotten more and more desperate to find something, anything, that will be reasonable for employment. I have not yet closed the door on the possibility for the San Diego Americorps/USPIRG position, but as I said in a previous entry, it doesn't pay enough to sustain California life. Today I have applied to a sushi restaurant in Columbus, and the Ohio branch of the Universal Health Care Action Network. I emailed some OU folk to express my interest in returning to teach (I would probably only get 1 or 2 classes, if I'm lucky, and there might not be available openings even every quarter). Things are getting desperate.

Thesis
It's available online! Check it out here!

Other Happenings
I am not at liberty to share all of my current activities here at this time. I have been visiting various friends and I want to especially plug Alix Reese here, who is such a trooper, and such a joy to visit, despite how sad her current situation is. She is still full of life, totally with it, and funny as ever. She is at the Cleveland Clinic now, getting a pacer put in so that hopefully she will be able to get her voice back up and running again. Lip reading has been challenging, but Alix and her family are very encouraging, telling me that I am actually really good at it. I wish Alix all the best of luck in her upcoming operations, and I hope you will too. If you are a friend of Alix, please take some time to visit her at the Regency Hospital when she is back. Morning visits are the best. We could even go together!
I'm still working on that article with my advisor, and my part of the deal is almost over. So I went through with it, and some day soon people may be citing me! (Whitson and Myers 2011). Hell yes....

Time Flies Like an Arrow...Fruit Flies Like a Banana

2010-07-14T12:58:00.008-04:00

I don't think I am the only one in these humid summer months with a fruit fly problem. I would like to think that the unsanitary kitchens of the neighboring apartments are the source of these little pests, but regardless of where they come from, they have been driving me crazy. Also, after discovering a year or so ago that fruit flies cause pink eye, I feel like my imagination is really running away with me as it now seems that the little guys are dive bombing my face to slap me with the good ol' conjunctivitis. I have read about several different ways to rid yourself of the pests, but this one is the only one that has worked effectively for me.

You need:
a jar
a sheet of paper (for goodness sake use something you were going to recycle or throw away anyway. No blank sheets! I used an old Spanish test so they can enrich their minds while they drown in vinegar)
masking tape
apple cider vinegar
piece or 2 of banana

Process:
Put about a centimeter of apple cider vinegar at the bottom of the jar, then put in the banana slices. Make a cone/funnel shape out of the sheet of paper and put this in the jar point-down (you may need to cut a little bit off the tip so it doesn't touch the bottom of the jar or touch the vingar. It also might help to tape the seam on the cone to keep it together). Make sure to tape around the opening of the jar very well so the flies can't get out.

What happens:
Fruit flies fly into the jar through the cone to get the banana, but for some reason can't find the way back out. They die in there. You will have a little fruit fly graveyard on your hands, but hey, they were trying to infect you with pink eye! You can put the jar right in the freezer to kill them off, then just put it right back out in your kitchen.

So you could have found this "recipe" if you were to search the interwebs, but I'm hoping that someone that reads that has been accepting fruit flies as an inevitability in their lives, and thus have not looked up solutions to the problem online yet.

< Doomed!

Old Friends

2010-07-11T11:21:00.010-04:00

...as in friends I have had for a long time, not 60-year-old companions.

Isn't it great when you spend years apart from an old friend, and when you finally reunite, you pick up right where you left off? Sometimes you meet up with someone you haven't seen in a while, and it is just awkward. You interests have taken dramatic turns away from one another, your lifestyle or beliefs have drifted worlds apart, and trying to recap the years in between becomes more of a chore than a natural-flowing conversation. Luckily, I have had a couple of long-lasting friendships that emulate the former.

I am not always the best at keeping up with friends. I do enjoy talking on the phone and catching up with people, but more often than not, one has to call me for that to happen. Maybe it is part of being an only child that doesn't have me itching form immediate human communication when I find myself alone for an extended period of time. Luckily, I think many of my friends are the same way, so it isn't taken as a big offense when I haven't contacted them in a while. Plus, it makes for great conversation fodder when we do reunite. Blogging has also been a way to keep in touch with people, especially when they have blogs I can follow as well. In fact, that is definitely the number two perk of blogging, next to the cathartic experience it provides.

When I went to Lollapalloza last year, I met up with Jessica, a friend from High School who was living in Chicago for the summer. Despite the radically different surroundings we both found ourselves in, and despite the fact that we certainly have changed, I found myself slipping back into old mannerisms and cracking the same kind of jokes I would have 6 years ago. The conversation just rolled between us as we talked about everything we might have in the past. It had probably only been a short time since our last visit, but every time we are separated, we seem to go right back to where we left off.

Last week I went to Akron with Kim to visit Lizzy, one of my closest friends and former roomates from undergrad who has been jetsetting about the world, making it hard to always maintain contact. She moved to Washington for and internship, and it feels like she has been gone ever since, moving to Portland, OR, then Costa Rica and now Colorado. I got to visit her last spring break in Portland, and just like these other cases, it was like we were never apart. She met me at the airport with a hot chai, and took me around Portland to show me her life there. I spent time with Audrey as well, another good friend and roomate from college. It is so refreshing to know that these friendships can continue to thrive, despite time and distance apart. Visiting Lizzy in Akron-well, technically Bath, OH- felt just like it did when I went there all those years ago. Lizzy played the part of the ever-so-capable-stick-shift-driving-chauffeur, and even though we had never previously been to a Cleveland Indians game together before, she, Kim and I rehashed things just like old times.

Yesterday I met up with another friend from middle/high school, Leslie. I hadn't seen Leslie for about 3 years, and that was only one evening. Before that, it had certainly been another 3 years since we had really been together. She greeted me by saying that I looked the exact same as 3 years ago (and I get that a lot), and I would have to say she hadn't really changed either. It took a minute to negotiate where we would go, now that we're all grown up and back in Columbus. We decided to head to Surly Girl Saloon in the Short North, a place we had both been introduced to only recently. Go there, by the way, it is incredible. Definitely has a feel like the cantina Dandy del Sur I visited in Tijuana, (here's a song about it by Nortec Collective) but obviously a bit more high brow. A local street fest rendered that space insane, and we found ourselves wandering around, looking for another place to go. We ended up at Bodega, a bar/cafe in the Short North that serves a scrumptious beer selection. After one glass of liquid courage, we were chatting away like old friends once again, about anything and everything. While we tried to steer our conversations about the new happenings in our lives, we would inevitably make connections to the old times, which led to a lot of laughs. Leslie and I came together in our formative years, and I believe that we had a lot of influence on one another and how we have turned out to this day. It was so nice to feel at ease with her, instead of sitting awkwardly, searching for things to say. And since I am trying to make my way out west, it looks as though we might end up closer than we thought if her LA and my San Diego plans pan out.

And speaking of old friends, I will be going with Leslie tomorrow to see Alix in the hospital. Alix is still in similar conditions that I described in an earlier post, after stray gunfire hit her in the neck and spinal cord. But I keep hearing that she is in good spirits, and I am excited to go visit. I know it will be emotionally draining, but it will be good to see her. I hope I can come up with something nice to bring for her.

Unemployment

2010-07-07T15:17:00.004-04:00

I wish I could start this out with "Unemployed and loving it!" Alas, I cannot. I enjoy the free time, but as my job hunt stretches out longer and longer, and as my checking account runs drier and drier, I can't even take advantage of all of my uncommitted hours of the day. What am I doing wrong? I am quite qualified for the jobs I am applying to, overqualified in many cases (which may be part of the problem). I decided to pursue my master's degree because the job market wasn't so hot when I got out of undergrad, and I did miss academic and mentally-stimulating discussion. But I am completely burnt out now on the world of academia, and the thought of applying to PhD programs makes my head spin. But after approximately 18 years of formal education, how can I be expected to do anything else? I may suck at job interviews and applications, but I do the school thing like a champ. So should I just bite the bullet and start looking into grad programs again? Part of me says yes, and part says no. I just wish one of these jobs would hire me so I wouldn't have to wrestle with this anymore.

I began to apply for jobs when I was still in school. I applied for Spanish teaching positions in California and Ohio, mostly at the university/community college level because high school teachers usually must have some kind of formal education degree. I guess two years of experience teaching a Spanish class at the university level isn't enough. After some careful consideration (and no call-backs), I started to think that maybe teaching Spanish isn't my thing. After all, I was offered the Spanish teaching job because they had some openings while I was a grad student, studying everything in Latin America except the Spanish language. Teaching Spanish has been a rewarding experience in that I used to be petrified of public speaking. Although I don't still don't exactly embrace it, I am now confident that if needed, I can prepare and present lessons 4 days a week, 30 weeks a year, no problem. I can even come out of it with good student evaluations. But does that mean it is what I should be doing? Probably not. Teaching Spanish has perhaps served its purpose for me.

So on to non-profits I went. I religiously check idealist.org for positions that involve any combination of international affairs, Latin America, Spanish, environment, and women's rights and health. One of the most promising positions that came to me was an Americorps position in Seattle, which would not be very good-paying, but at least would offer an educational award at the end that I could use to pay of student loans. I researched the organizaion and its mission statement, the open positions and their tasks, and come phone interview time, I felt I nailed it with my strong background in topics such as institutionalized racism, something the organization worked with. And then I didn't get the job. I hadn't done a formal job interview in years, and even my last one was for Border's Bookstore. It wasn't exactly the toughest interview one might have to endure.

So now I have applied for unemployment. Seeing as how the only requirement pretty much is that I need to be unemployed and seeking employment with at least 2 jobs per week, I thought it would be a walk in the park. But it is a long and arduous process, and (if I'm lucky) I'll be employed by the time I cut through all of the red tape required to receive unemployment. I have another phone interview on Monday, but I still fear that this one will end up much like my last one. It's frustrating because I think I just may not be a strong interviewee, but I do great work when I set my mind to it. I think phone interviews are particularly rough on me, because there are a lot of awkward pauses/talking over one another/no gauging their expressions on the other end, etc. Most people I know with career-track jobs have gotten them through family members, and I just don't have any family connections that I could capitalize on. Does anyone here have the hook-up? Can I blog for cash?

Instead of writing here, I should be working on the one assignment I have right now. I might have mentioned that my advisor asked me to write an article with her about the perceptions in the media of cartoneros, or trash pickers in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I had been working with her on this article from a document-analysis standpoint for about two years, and I was ecstatic when she asked me to co-author this article. But now that I am out of school I am less enthused about the whole thing. I should be spending more time trying to find a job and less time working pro-bono on an article (though really she is doing me the favor since she is doing much more of the work). Still, if I really don't see myself pursuing higher education, I don't think it is necessarily to my advantage to co-author an academic article.

In any case, as you can see, I am in a sort of limbo/funk. I am broke, but am "rich with free time" as my friend Lola put it. But unless I can make some real skrilla with free time, I will eventually have to move back in with my parents and seek part-time employment with Borders again. It's tough in the streets, y'all.

Futbol

2010-06-28T23:47:00.005-04:00

Oh yes, I am writing about a sport, for the first time and perhaps the last time. And until the US wins the World Cup some day, I believe I should refer to soccer by its rightful name, football (futbol/ futebol in the other two languages I know...). But it is hard to switch cold turkey like that. Now I have never been interested in sports, except for a short stint with amateur wrestling. Embarrassing? Perhaps. My grandma bought be a letter jacket in high school but I played no sports to speak of in order to earn a letter. As a "mat-stat" (or "mat-maid" as I've recently heard them called) I was able to earn a letter in two short years, and seeing as how I had to understand the game intimately in order to keep score, I became slightly interested in it. Obviously I did not follow wrestling beyond the days of the Midwest Classic back in central Ohio, but now I have found a new interest in the sport of futbol.

I suppose I have caught the "World Cup Fever" I keep hearing about.

Ever since I can remember, my dad would prefer to "watch paint dry rather than watch soccer." Maybe I subconsciously took this to heart. After all, my dad watches golf on TV every day. If he doesn't find THAT as boring as soccer, then I wanted to steer clear.

Now, as the World Cup has progressed and my boyfriend has patiently answered my every question about the game (so that's what off-sides means), I have become more and more passionate about the sport and World Cup 2010. I even surprisingly got my dad to watch the entire match between Ghana in this WC's round of 16. Granted, we were stuck at the Knoxville, TN Hilton, waiting to go to my cousin's wedding, and there really wasn't much else he could do, but it was quite a moment of family togetherness when he and I yelled profanely at the TV while my mom hid behind her Christian fiction novel.

So while my dad, along with many other American football fans find fault with the sport (namely the score doesn't go high enough), I have found many reasons to love the game. I don't see FIFA taking his suggestions to heart any time soon (they need a bigger goal and no goalie). It is nice to root for the US in some capacity first of all. Although I will always have some issues with the government, I am the most patriotic I have ever been. And it's nice to see the US as the underdog for once, and I loves me some underdogs. I also love how popular the game is in Latin America, obviously (and was also rooting for my homeboys, the Mexicans. Sorry you didn't make it past those darn Argentinians again, guys. They're tough.)

And finally, I have found a new love for soccer because I appreciate its ability to bring all walks of life together in a way that no other sport can. Although the World Cup has plenty of bells and whistles, the bare bones of the game can be shared between everyone. You don't need any equipment, just a ball and a way to mark goals. I now wish I would have grown up with a love of the game, but I guess that was never meant to be, considering I run a 12+ minute mile and there is very little love in this world for women's sports...However, I guess I don't need to be good at the sport- athletic and coordinated- in order to enjoy it.

For those of you I haven't shared this with, I end this with my nerd thoughts Re: The World Cup:

How many thesis/dissertation observations about the World Cup are being carried out right now? If I had one: Language on the World Cup Field, what language to players resort to (if verbal language is used at all) in order to cross-lingually/nationally communicate. My hypothesis is that for teams with similar but still different languages, such as Italy v. Spain, communication can come through using one's native language with slight communication error, when N. Korea plays Brazil, a 3rd mutual language such as English is resorted to when possible. But mostly body language is necessary.

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

Festies!

2010-06-15T14:57:00.007-04:00

Hey heyyyy.
So there is life after grad school, because I am finished, and still breathing. Unemployment is going to be financially hard on me, so I'll need a lot of ideas for free things to do. One of the not-at-all-free activities that I enjoy partaking in the most is going to festivals over the summer. Nothing grounds me quite like a weekend full of great music, sunny weather, wonderful people and camping.

I went to this year's Summer Camp festival in Chillicothe, Illinois, and my love for festies came rushing back to me. After years of action items lists and deadlines and citation style guides, it was so nice to have a to-do list that 1. didn't require being written down in order for me to follow it, and 2. included items such as wash face at the spigot, stay hydrated, catch Pretty Lights live. I wish there was a way that I could enjoy the freedom of unemployment but also have some money in order to enjoy all the free time. Maybe it's because I was deprived of actual summer camp as a child, or any camping for that matter, but I want to make up for lost time by living from festie to festie all summer long. Unfortunately, this is not financially feasible. :(

It is because of this that I am posting this little widget here. If I make it to no other festival this summer, I will still be making Camp Bisco. The lineup is amazing, and even some friends are playing a set there. I imagine an Athens, OH reunion will be happening at this venue.

I will try to write more. It's funny how I have actually posted less now that I have more free time. Being on a tight schedule really does ensure that things get done. Maybe between the spigot run of one festie and the first show of the next, I will fit in some blogging. Summer love to all of you!

Sad News

2010-06-01T11:54:00.004-04:00

I found out a couple of days ago that Alix Reese, one of my friends from high school was driving on Columbus' east side when she was caught up in a crossfire and shot in the neck. She is now paralyzed from the neck down, and relies on a machine to breathe. Here is a link to one of the news reports about the incident. Although we are not as close as we once were, I always follow her on facebook and leave little comments, and back in high school I would say we were pretty darn close. We read eachother's Open Diary and spent lots of time together. I know that the path ahead for Alix will be long and treacherous. Even though she has been in stable condition, we don't know what the future holds for her subsequent surgeries. I know the people who read this aren't loaded, but I want to put this site out there, prayforalix.com. It is great how much they have made, and the overwhelming amount of support for Alix, but we need to keep giving, whether it is our money or just our positive energy. The support has been so overwhelming, in fact, that the hospital has been concerned with the amount of visitors coming to see her in ICU, and now only family members are permitted to visit until further notice. So if you pray, meditate, peace pipe, or anything else as a spiritual practice, please do so for Alix in the next coming days, as she has a long way to go to recovery. Alix has always been an amazing and bubbly girl, and although this should never happen to anyone, it certainly should not happen to her. Thanks for your support!

The Case for Arizona's Ethnic Studies Law

2010-05-17T09:33:00.008-04:00

By now I'm sure most of you have heard of Arizona's latest "WTF legislation," banning ethnic studies classes and English teachers with accents. I won't get into the English teachers with accents in this post other than to say, what the hell does that even really mean? Can Southerners no longer teach English? People from England? Canadians? What exactly constitutes "unaccented" English?

But I want to talk about the ethnic studies ban which states that schools will lose funding if they support ethnic studies classes in their curriculum because the creators of this law think such classes will cause people to overthrow the government. Also they do not want classes to "advocate ethnic solidarity instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals." This point is particularly boggling to me, because I was previously unaware that "treating pupils as individuals" and "promoting solidarity with ethnic groups" were mutually exclusive.

(Sarcasm approaching...)
And you know what, maybe Arizona has the right idea. I must admit that I was not exposed to ethnic studies classes until college, and look how well I turned out. (Ok, that's a lie, I took a class on Native American culture in HS, but that was barely enlightening or revolutionary). I was not aware of the many injustices the US participates in at the expense of other cultures, and as a consequence I just did my work and played the good little student role, regurgitating the white history of the world in my classes, not questioning anything.

And then Amado Lascar and Amanda Harris came into my life. Now, as far as Amado's Spanish class was concerned, it was more focused on the literature of Mexico, Central and South America than US foreign policy or exposing aforementioned injustices. But he did introduce me to voices in literature that are often undervalued and left in the margins, voices that do criticize the colonial legacy in Latin America from the conquest until today. But Amanda Harris' class, "Ethnicity in the Americas" really opened my eyes. I would even go as far as to divide my life into before and after taking that class.

When I say this entry is a case for this new law, it is my tongue-in-cheek way of saying that ethnic studies classes can and do make a difference, they change people. I can see Arizona and a racist, conservative government in general being very frightened by the power that these classes can wield. It is no wonder that this happened when we see that conservatives in Texas also want to keep real information from getting into the impressionable and pliable minds of the nation's youth. If a smart cookie like me is introduced to ideas that expose the seedy underbelly of the US, we might turn out to work against the wrongful actions of the government. It is really a loss to conservatives in the US when students become aware of their wrong-doings. Although I was never really pro-America, even before the ethnic studies class because when I finally became interested and aware of politics, Bush was president for 8 years and it doesn't take a strong liberal lean to recognize the evil promulgated under his regime.

What I am saying here is that those of us who are appalled by this newest legislation should not take the path of denying the influence of ethnic studies classes. These classes do have the power to influence people and change lives, and that is something that conservatives fear. I am not one to make an argument that they do not change people's opinions of capitalism, the United States, or hegemonic powers in general, because that is what they have done for me. But as a person who embraces a post/de-colonial paradigm, I know how important these classes are to raising awareness to new perspectives, the perspectives of the marginalized whose voices have been silenced throughout History.

I was hoping we were finally in agreement within the walls of educational institutions that a new history needs to emerge, a new story needs to sound out in contrast to the white noise of History we have been exposed to our entire lives. No one should fear that the US will be demonized completely throughout social studies curricula, because the overwhelming majority of such classes are staunchly pro-US, look at colonization as a good thing, and look at events (such as the "discovery of America") through the eyes of dead white men. Even new textbooks are preserving this paradigm. The old way is not going anywhere. But the option to learn of a new perspective and take a new path is vital to the future of this nation.

I keep waiting for the turnover, for the day that these old, racist assholes are no longer in the majority in charge of things such as text books, education funding and dare I say, the government. I don't want to lose hope that things are slowly changing for the better, but when legislation such as that in Arizona is passed, I lose just a little hope that things are actually changing. When my family verbalizes their bigotry, I just try to tell myself that most people don't think that way. Unfortunately that is not always the case. But I won't lose hope because I see a lot of smart individuals doing a lot of good for the world and those who are marginalized. I hope that as the aforementioned old racist assholes die off, they will be replaced by these more enlightened individuals.

Thesis Defense in Lunch Lady Land

2010-05-09T18:53:00.006-04:00

Here is a short narrative of the most memorable part of my thesis defense. And no, it is not about the moment when Risa came out into the hall and said to me "congratulations" with a big smile on her face. But that was definitely my favorite part. Spectators may have been more entertained by someone known to me only as "The Lunch Lady."

I wanted to defend my thesis in the same building I teach in every day, just to give me the safety and security of a familiar place. However, the only room that was open during my scheduled thesis defense time was a community room, complete with a stinky refrigerator where faculty and staff can put their lunches (and obviously forget them for weeks).

Less than 5 minutes into my presentation, a woman walks nonchalantly into the room, and gets a plastic bag out of the fridge. The resulting smell from her opening the refrigerator horrified as all, but not as much as the 3 minute ritual said "Lunch Lady" performed over her lunch on a counter-top mere feet away from me where I was presenting. I looked to my thesis advisor, "what should I do?" "Keep going if it won't distract you." Well after said 3-ish minutes of the Lunch Lady noisily unpacking and repacking her lunch in various (dare I say millions?) of containers and plastic bags. *rustle rustle rattle rattle* I couldn't take it any more. Everyone is looking at one another in disbelief as Lola snaps some winning candid shots of the moment (pictured below). "I'm sorry, but can I wait until she is done?" I wait for a few seconds before asking this individual (who obviously lacks some social graces and manners) if she was planning on being done anytime soon or.... Witnesses later agreed, we were all just holding our breaths, waiting for the moment she would pop open that microwave and turn it on, too. The Lunch Lady seemed completely unembarrassed and unfazed by the whole debacle. She continued rattling around the plastic bags and containers until she was good and ready. She then took her time collecting her bags once again before she left. One last winning photo was taken, *snap* and I finally proceeded.

It was annoying, but it was an experience I will never forget. And the new-found solidarity I found between myself and my audience gave me the confidence to move forward even more comfortably than before. To all of those who came to my thesis defense, I thank you so much for being a part of this experience with me (and not just the Lunch Lady portion). And to all of those who helped push me along the thesis path, thank you as well. Good luck to those of you who have yet to defend! Si se puede!

Sovereignty of a State

2010-05-05T10:08:00.008-04:00

First, Happy Cinco de Mayo! I love Danny Trejo, it's no secret. And he has a special Cinco de Mayo message for you. (Apparently copyright laws have removed access to the video I posted here, but definitely check out the trailer for Machete through the above link).

All of this oppressive state-based legislation has got me thinking...Would these states be able to survive if they were a sovereign nation that did not fall under the protective umbrella of the United States? We have all heard it, California is broke. But of what consequence is that, really? The US has always got it's back, and no matter what the financial woe is, how much misfortune can really befall a state that is part of the US?

Now, I think about Arizona. SB 1070, in addition to being a racist measure, is financially going to screw the state if it works out. It is funny how economic interests are being posited as one of the motivations behind this legislation, because frankly, perhaps it is the influx of illegal immigrants taking unnaturally low-paying jobs that is keeping Arizona financially afloat in the first place. If this law is to pass, I am wondering A) if it could actually ever be "effective" in curbing illegal immigration, B) how they would measure such "effectiveness," and C) how it would really affect the state in the long-run. But even if this law becomes practice in Arizona, and it ends up hurting them financially, will it really hurt the state deep down? If Arizona were a sovereign nation, what would come out of all of this? I am thinking financial ruin might have something to do with it. But luckily the big bad US can protect all of its children from actually ever failing, so even though Cali can go broke, it is of no real consequence, is it not? I see a dissertation in the making: Can states make policies that are not in their best interest as a political move and not be negatively affected in many ways because they are a part of the US?

Luckily, many people agree that the law won't hold any water when it comes down to being put into practice. It is being called "constitutionally troubling," and I have heard that foreign policy matters do not fall under state jurisdiction. And basically, when you make a law that calls for police to detain people because of "reasonable suspicion" without defining what constitutes "reasonable suspicion," yeah, people are not going to let that fly.

And on a final note. In light of the anti-woman/choice/medicine legislation recently passed in Oklahoma, is it any surprise that some OK legislators are getting a proverbial boner over the idea of following suit with Arizona's SB 1070? Unfortunately, other states (like Ohio) are also considering similar moves. Thankfully, Ted Strickland has already said he would never sign such a measure. But read on in the article, because it looks as though there is still a looming threat.

WTF OK?

2010-05-03T10:02:00.008-04:00

Wow, it looks as though 2010 is the year of eliminating states from my list of possible new homes in the US. Oklahoma's new abortion legislation (HB 2656 and HB 2780) is up there on the f-ed up scale with SB 1070 in Arizona. And I have not heard as much about this new legislation, maybe because everyone is distracted trying to bring awareness to Arizona's new law. Vetoes to both bills were overruled, meaning that HB 2656 and HB 2780 are now laws in Oklahoma. How does this all happen so fast?

Let us begin with HB 2780, which makes it so that a woman having an abortion is required by state law to see an ultrasound of the unborn fetus before the abortion, and have it described to her in detail. So she knows what she's getting into, you see... This is supposedly going to deter women from using abortion as a first-resort method of birth control. While I do believe that having an abortion is a serious matter requiring careful consideration of the consequences and what exactly all of this means, I must admit that I cannot see that too many women getting abortions are going about it all willy-nilly. This is an intense medical procedure, and I am sure that a lot of hard thinking goes into the decision for such a serious procedure. Currently, pro-choice advocates are relating this procedure to state-mandated rape, because these women have no choice whether or not they will be penetrated by the instruments used to produce an image of the fetus. Of course, nay sayers are poo-pahing the whole thing. According to one representative, you use similarly (or more) invasive techniques in order to perform an abortion, so it falls under the same umbrella. Oh wait, except the whole definition of rape revolves around consent, (meaning that there is a lack thereof in cases of rape), and in all of these cases the abortion procedure itself would have been requested by the woman, but not the ultrasound.

Moving on to HB 2656. According to this new Oklahoma legislation, doctors can outright lie to a patient about the state of her unborn fetus. Why would s/he do that? In order to prevent the woman from aborting a fetus if it shows signs of birth defects. To quote Mary Alice Carr in the above-posted article, this is "anti-motherhood and anti-medicine." You should definitely read her article, because she puts my outrage better than I ever could, speaking as a mother who was always relieved to hear that everything is fine with her unborn fetus in the doctor's office. Now, a doctor in Oklahoma stating "everything is fine" may not bring this relief, as they are allowed to violate their Hippocratic oath if they think that telling you there is a problem with your fetus will lead you to seek an abortion.

Frankly, I am a little confused with the conservative push for so much controlling legislation lately. If you buy into the liberal-conservative dichotomy as it is popularly illustrated, you will see that conservative=fights for freedom (and small government), and liberal=fights for equality. Talking to my family about the healthcare bill you would definitely get the impression that our freedom in this country has gone out the window. Yet the biggest violations of freedoms that I am witnessing are being posited by the conservative representatives. Do you like freedom? Well in Arizona you're going to have to sacrifice just a little bit of that and carry documentation of legal citizenship around with you, no matter who you are. That is so that no one else can enjoy the freedom that you earned(?) by being born in this great nation. Do you want an abortion? Well not so fast now. We didn't make it ILLEGAL, so you still have your freedom there. But we will make it an even more uncomfortable process. Oh, and there might be even more medical woes for you in the process, but no biggie, right? I mean that affects so few people, that it shouldn't even matter. Hey, 50% of us don't even have to worry about pregnancy, so there's some more freedom! FREEEEEEDOM!

Well, Oklahoma, you can now join North Dakota and Arizona on the list of states I won't be visiting or frequenting any time soon. To inhabitants of those states, keep fighting the good fight. Show the world that freedom and equality are not mutually exclusive.

Exit Music (For a Thesis)

2010-04-29T09:54:00.005-04:00

As much as I want to scream it from the Appalachian mountaintops, I am keeping the following information relatively low-key. I turned in my thesis to my committee last evening. All 142 glorious pages.

Well, low-key except that I told Hernan and Tatiana in the library because I saw them after I printed it out. (P.S. Sorry to the library patrons trying to print at the same time!) And I told 2 of my students because I was late to my office hours because of it. And Dr. Partyka because she's a nerd like me, and she would care. And I told Dr. Jokisch because his office is right by Dr. Whitson's. And I called my mom, because hey, you would, too. Ok so I didn't keep it low-key, did I? But I'm not plastering it all over facebook because I feel like it will jinx me. Plus I don't want people to come to my defense. After the defense I will become less low-key. But until then...Breathe, keep breathing...

WTF AZ?

2010-04-26T23:53:00.007-04:00

I have been putting the finishing touches on my thesis. The concluding remarks I am adding at this point are more of a reflection of the "idea" of Latin America (to use Mignolo's phrase). One of my main closing arguments is that San Diego is Latin America, and thus belongs rightly as a space studied for a Latin American Studies thesis along with its sister city of Tijuana. (Although perhaps it would be more accurate to say that "Latin America" in itself is a problematic construction and concept invented to be a distinction between the "two worlds" of the Americas. Shit, I don't even believe in the concept or use of Latin America anymore and I am about to have a degree in "Latin American Studies").

In my conclusion I discuss how nationality was not used as an identifier for my informants because national identity becomes fluid for many inhabitants of the US-Mexico borderlands. I argue that by highlighting politically and socially constructed borders, the US practices a continued colonization of Mexico. By reinforcing what makes "Us" different from "Them," one group posits itself as superior. I just finished writing about how labeling individuals of the borderlands as "Mexican" or "American" is inappropriate in an area where many are likely to have more in common with someone on the other side of the border than their own.

But just as I am writing all of this into my conclusion, Arizona governor Jan Brewer signs a bill that legalizes racial profiling in the state in order to combat illegal immigration. Pardon my spit take. Alicia Mendez sums up some of the details and problems with this bill here. This is scary business, folks. To begin, the probable future of racial/ethnic/(lingual?) profiling in Arizona that will come about as a result of this measure is sickening. How can you tell if someone is an illegal immigrant, meriting probable cause to ask for proof of citizenship? Well I'll tell you one thing, I won't be stopped on the Arizona streets anytime soon due to SB 1070. So we can cross off gingers (daywalkers?) off the suspicion list... But what confuses me more than ever is the contradiction present in the conservative agenda here. Tea partiers are all up in arms because they think their freedoms are being taken away, right? Less government control, they say. And yet, they agree with a measure that will make it so that every Arizona citizen may have to carry around papers that confirm your legal residence in the US. And if you don't have that information at hand you can be detained. (Not if you are Anglo, though).

And one more thing...Are we forgetting the history of Mexico and the US S outhwest?
I feel like I am in a weird time warp. What's next? I am officially scared about the direction things have been going lately. This climate of fear has a lot of people spring loaded and ready to pounce. And those people have guns.

It is at times like this that I need to take a deep breath, remember the teachings of Leslie Marmon Silko's Almanac of the Dead, and hope that I am not left to befall the same fate as the Destroyers.

Update 04.27: I love that Mexico has responded with a travel advisory for Mexicans traveling to Arizona. "Although details on how the law will be enforced remain unclear, the ministry said, 'it must be assumed that every Mexican citizen may be harassed and questioned without further cause at any time.'"

Teaching Funk

2010-04-22T11:18:00.005-04:00

I'm in kind of a teaching funk lately. Which is unfortunate because I have applied to be a Spanish teacher at 5 different universities/colleges in Ohio and California. I call this a funk because maybe it is temporary and I will fall back in line in a couple of days, as many of us often do... Personally, I think I'm good at teaching Spanish for the most part. I try to simplify grammar by making it visual, and I break it down thoroughly. I've had students say that compared to previous Spanish teachers I make things very understandable. Then again, I think every TA probably has some students tell them that because we all teach differently and all students learn best through different strategies.

Enter: the problem. When I get anxious, all of my well-thought-out planning goes to shit. I start to confuse myself, and when that happens how am I supposed to explain it to a room of 21 confused faces? I get the simplest madlibs terms (verbs, nouns) mixed up not because I forget what they are, but because under pressure I'm just spitting out words without thinking. Try explaining why the gerund in English is actually represented in Spanish through both the infinitive and the gerund. And the thing is, I have done that successfully. To a T. Twice. This is my third time teaching this lesson. But something escaped me this time. After some toying with the concepts last night, I think I've broken it down adequately, and I will be reviewing the lesson to make sure it's clear. But when you have a room full of students giving you nonverbal clues that they have no idea what you are talking about, it's a little disheartening.

And that isn't even necessarily why I have been thinking that I don't want to teach. Mostly I feel less enthused about the whole thing for two reasons.
1. Many students here HAVE to take a foreign language. They don't want to be there, they hate Spanish, and they fight me and the language every step of the way. This makes it hard for me to get the information through to them, because all they can think about is how miserable they are taking a class that "will never help" them "in the real world" (I beg to differ by the by). When they resist, it really is just making it harder on them. I end up spending so much time dumbing down the material that the students who actually do care are bored stupid. I would like to apologize to them, because they are the best students.
2. Because we are in a system where grades mean everything, students want to fight with me over every point. Most often, they try to weasel their way out of the attendance policy, which I follow strictly in order to keep my job. Lately students have been basically asking me what each point I take off is for. If I give a student a 4/5 on participation for March 28, they want to know why. What happened to the authority of a teacher? I think that being a TA makes students think they can walk all over you. Especially with me because I do happen to take it easy on them sometimes. Give them an inch and they will take a mile.

Anyway, maybe if I could teach a Spanish class full of people that actually want to be there, I would be happy with my job. And those few students who care and try do make it all worth while. So it feels hypocritical to make those students sit through the bullshit so that I can make things easier on the students who don't study or pay attention as much. So it might be time for a new policy.

Also I don't think chai is much better when it comes to anxiety. I guess I'm going to have to resort to...hot water? Megann suggested yerba mate. I haven't gotten the good ol' mate out in a while, so that might be my experimental pick-me-up drink next week.

Big Fan vs. Buffalo 66

2010-04-20T22:38:00.005-04:00

All I know is the world of response papers and data analysis. This has seeped into my personal life. Here is a comparison of two films: Big Fan and Buffalo 66.

Big Fan (2009)
Oswalt plays 37-year old “Paul from Staten Island,” one of the biggest NY Giant fans in town, but also maybe one of the most broke. He works at a parking garage payment booth and lives with his mother who nags him about getting a job and family, things that “normal people” have. He loves to tailgate at the home Giants games, but unfortunately can only afford to watch the games on TV in the parking lot with his best (only?) friend, Sal (Kevin Corrigan). He especially idolizes Quantrell Bishop, the Giants’ star quarterback. He gets his kicks from calling a local radio show and ragging out his arch-nemesis-of-the-radio-waves, Philadelphia Phil (Michael Rappaport, hell yeah!). Long story short, said idol QB Bishop kicks the shit out of Paul in a nightclub and as a result Phil is comatose for three days. When he comes back-to, he is surrounded by reporters, detectives, and his own attorney brother who all want him to press charges. Paul just wants the Giants to do well, and he knows if Bishop is convicted, he won’t be able to play. This is Paul’s struggle.

Buffalo 66 (1998)
Billy Brown was brought up by a neurotic and selfish family. His mother (Anjelica Huston) is an avid Buffalo Bills fan and thinks about little else. His father (Ben Gazzara) is, well, a weird asshole? Billy gets out of jail and has to reconstruct the glamorous lifestyle he has been lying to his parents about since his incarceration. Enter Layla (Christina Ricci). Kidnapped and forced to play into the charade as Billy's doting wife, "Wendy Balsam," Ricci goes along with the whole thing. An odd family reunion ensues, and we get a taste of just how weird Billy’s life must have always been. We wonder, how did he get into jail in the first place? Well, ironically enough, it’s because of the Bills, baby. Billy Brown made a bet for the Bills to win the Superbowl, and surprise surprise, they don’t win. He doesn’t have the cash to pay for the bet, so he takes the wrap for someone else’s crime (we never know what this crime is). This is in exchange for the bookie (Mickey Rourke) to not break his legs. Billy never forgets the losing game, and blames the Bill’s (quarterback?) Scott Woods. He goes to Woods’ strip club to blow his brains out.

So we have NFL football teams and their failures as big blows to the protagonists of these films. Both Paul and Billy have families that seemingly do not understand them. One key difference here is that Paul doesn’t pretend to be something he’s not, and expects his family to take him at face value. Billy, on the other hand, hides his incarceration from his family, replacing the truth with a string of lies about his successful government job and loving wife. Both Paul and Billy plan the violent demise of a nemesis, but neither actually goes through with it. And both have encounters with their (former or current) football hero. Each of them has a loser best friend, and guess what, they are played by the same actor (Kevin Corrigan)!!! I think I have a new favorite actor by the way, and it is he. He isn’t even credited in Buffalo 66 by the way. He was also in Zebrahead and True Romance along with Michael Rappaport, oh the connections!
Both of these films are darkly funny, but Buffalo 66 is definitely darker. I think Big Fan is trying to be a more mainstream version of Buffalo 66, but I don’t think the mainstream public got the memo, because I don’t think Big Fan did very well in theaters. Either way, I think most people would like Big Fan, if only nominally, and it’s nice to see a new movie every now and again. I won’t be going out to buy it anytime soon, but it is good to know that not everything hitting theaters these days is a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston.

Update: Coincidentally enough, I checked out the Rotten Tomatoes webpage and saw that they are currently accepting submissions for Homage or Stealing: You Make the Call, a segment sometimes featured on the show. I submitted another video for consideration, check it out on their page! Here's hoping they use it!

Descafeinada

2010-04-19T19:46:00.008-04:00

As you may or may not know, I have been forced to give up coffee (to an extent). I have drunk (yes, drunk is the past participle, and drank is only the past simple form, I had to look it up. If that were in Spanish I would have known it but I apparently have yet to master English) coffee since the fourth grade. Well, it's not like I was drinking it on the reg back in my preteens, but I was an early starter. And maybe it is because of this that I am having such a time with the beverage as of late. When I drink coffee on the weekends, it doesn't seem to affect me negatively at all. However, when I drink during the week, I am a ball of nerves by the time I teach. My heart starts pounding hard and fast as I start to think about facing the 20+ students from the front of the classroom. Usually when I get in the room and start instructing, the anxiety goes away. But since I teach at 5pm, the anxiety and stress usually carries on all day.

So I decided to switch to tea. And I love tea, especially iced. But as a coffee replacement, I still wanted the thickness I get with coffee. I don't want a watery broth, I want something with substance! So I decided to go with chai so I can mix it with milk and all that goodness. But chai mixes can be expensive and if I'm giving up something as monumental as coffee, I want to make my tea a little special. So I have been making this chai that I think is pretty delish.

<-Note the ominous espresso maker taunting me in the background.
Oh Mai Chai!
1 Lipton's tea bag (nothing else will suffice! Lipton's is the shit.)
5 whole cloves
1/4 cinnamon stick (can be saved and reused for future chai endeavors)
1/4 tsp. ground cardamom
1 tsp. honey (I use a local Cantrell honey, yum yum. I also hear that using local honey helps abate allergies, which is much needed this season!)
Add some boiled water (I swear by my electric kettle) and let the ingredients steep in your favorite mug.
After it's done steeping, add some vanilla soymilk to your taste.

Spices can be expensive, but there's usually a cheaper store brand you can buy. Of course you can always opt for ground cinnamon as well. I usually spoon out the cloves and cinnamon stick for another round or two of chai-making to make it last.

In case you are wondering, this is, in fact, my favorite mug. Well, at least second favorite. And doesn't the chai at least look like coffee? I think that is part of the battle for me. I have to trick myself into thinking it is coffee. Bottoms up and buen provecho!

Oh the Places I've Been

2010-04-17T14:30:00.009-04:00

This is semi-plagiarizing Jessica's blog entry, but I have my own unique spin on it.

I wasn't expecting to add my own GoogleEarth experience to my blog, but while I was putting off my Conclusion chapter for my thesis, I decided to look up the house I lived in while living in New Mexico. I went to Roswell, NM through an internship with the Student C onservation Association. A worthwhile experience, by the way. If you are in between jobs/educational pursuits, I highly recommend you consider an internship with the SCA. Through them I worked four 10-hour days per week chainsawing invasive tamarisk (a.k.a. salt cedar) trees in the New Mexican desert. For the majority of the trip, I lived in a humble little house in Roswell, New Mexico with three other interns.

The course of this internship was 4 months, and it was two and a half years ago. So it was much to my surprise when I looked up the address on GoogleEarth and saw my car in the driveway.

I decided to look up all of the other places I have lived as well. Most of them are not too interesting. Many of them do not have a street view, and even the aerial views are a little blurry. But I think the far-away photo of the house where I grew up is a fairly good portrayal of a middle-America suburb.
(Cue Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes")

And last, but not least, you have probably heard me talking/seen me writing about my dream apartment in San Diego lately. The street view of the place does not do it justice. There is a UPS truck along with street maintenance crews and traffic. That is not the Marine Street I learned to love. Here is an aerial view. I think you will understand what I loved so much about it simply from this view.

I can smell the salty sea air right now...

Silencio. (Ponderings on David Lynch)

2010-04-13T15:22:00.011-04:00

That is the final word of David Lynch's Mulholland Drive. No hay banda. No hay orquesta. Silencio.

Sorry about the Portuguese subtitles. Or not.

Here's la Llorona de Los Angeles. Clearly the best rendition of Crying I have ever heard.

But damnit, what does it all mean? Of course I could (and have done so to an extent) look up this information online, to see what the other cinephiles have to say. But I have preferred to try to come up with my own interpretations through personal conversation and discussion. It is because of the complexity and ambiguity of Mr. Lynch's works that has, as of late, sparked my interest once again in the world of film and cinema. I only wish I could be in a film class discussing Lynch in a room full of people for class credit.

Here's another scene with subtitles in Portuguese again. The Cowboy.

So in the film, the Cowboy shows up two more times to the audience. But maybe only once to the director. Did he do bad? He followed the Cowboy's orders, so he did good, right? My brain is scrambled. I learned that Mulholland Dr. was originally a pilot episode, so maybe a great deal of things were presented that would have been otherwise uncovered in the course of a television series, but loose ends were left that could not be tied up in a 2.5 hour movie. Anyone? Anyone?

In high school I was introduced to a myriad of some of my favorite films by two of my good friends, Dan and Matt. They introduced me to all of this craziness at 16, 17, 18 years old, but never talked to me about it. (If either of you read this by the way, why the hell didn't we talk about these??) For the most part, I would watch all of these movies alone, and either be creeped out or awestruck. Even after being creeped out (with such films as Gummo), I still obsessed over the movies enough to conclude that I did, in fact, like them. Then I bought them and watched them again. Alone. Here is a list of my movie collection by the way. If I know you in the flesh, and you are interested in borrowing any of them, you may. For a nominal fee. Just kidding. Though I have been thinking of starting up my own little Netflix business since I rarely watch any of my movies these days.

I am happy that I am now starting to discuss these movies out loud with Jose and Jeff so that I can A. get my own thoughts out in a semi-cohesive manner, and B. get someone else's insights and perspectives that I may have otherwise not considered.

If you think you might like to get into some David Lynch, but you are a novice, I would recommend not going in chronological order with his films. Starting with Eraserhead might just turn you off. Save that one for last. Start with something tamer, like The Elephant Man (which, coincidentally I have not yet seen). Or maybe The Straight Story, a G-rated Disney flick directed by Lynch. He reported said about the film: "Tenderness can be just as abstract as insanity." True that Mr. L. Once you get the tame stuff out of the way, go after Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive. Try a little Twin Peaks while you're at it (start with the series, move on to the film Fire Walk with Me). I know I just put a link there to the opening credits, but that song and footage will take your mind and heart to an emotional place if you fall in love with the series like I did. Be wary of the second season, though. People start turning into doorknobs.

I sure love Agent Dale Cooper. Watch out for Mr. Lynch in this clip as well (at 00:36).

I will conclude with a list of some of my favorite films from my collection. A second installment will follow in a later entry. They are in alphabetical order because their preference is so fluid in my mind. Please do check them out some day. Most of them are available at (insert university/academic institution here)'s library video collection. Expect a review of Antichrist by Lars von Trier in the near future. And if you have seen it, explain that shit to me! Is it intentionally misogynistic? Does the changed ending cheapen the meaning behind the original concept? So many questions! And if you have not seen it, you probably shouldn't, haha.

1. Adaptation- dir. Spike Jonze- The only Nicholas Cage portrayal I enjoy. Meryl Streep does drugs with a toothless Chris Cooper. All around lovely and witty. Favorite line: Chris Cooper (to Meryl Streep) You're shinier than any ant, darlin'.
2. Amores Perros- dir. Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu. I love the whole multiple stories coming together thing. Soundtrack is awesome.
3. Blue Velvet- dir. David Lynch. Kyle McLaughlin is clownin', but Laura Dern still loves him anyway. Isabella Rossalini is nuts, unlike her current Green Porno project with the Sundance Channel, which is totally sane.
4. Buffalo 66- dir. Vincent Gallo. I don't know what to think of Vincent Gallo, or his gigolo ways. But I love this film so much. Angelica Huston is an awesomely selfish Buffalo Bills fan, and Christina Ricci is appropriately plump. If made to pick a favorite NFL team, it would be the Buffalo Bills strictly because of this film.
5. Clockwork Orange- dir. Stanley Kubrick. It is disturbing, yet funny. It has a message and its own language, my little droogies.
6. Dancer in the Dark- dir. Lars von Trier. It is heart-wrenching. Maybe moreso becaus the main character is Bjork. I was her character, Selma, from this film last year for Halloween. I can't say much more about it. There are musical numbers, but that's ok. :)
7. Gummo- dir./writ. Harmony Korrine. Because I openly love this movie, people seem to want to suggest horrific, disturbing movies to me. Many can't stomach this film. It has been, and may always be, one of my favorite films of all time. Key words: Xenia, OH; culture of poverty, black gay Jewish little person; downs syndrome prostitution.
8. The Royal Tenenbaums- dir. Wes Anderson. I still haven't seen Mr. Anderson's new film, Fantastic Mr. Fox, but as a general rule all of his films are winners. This one is my favorite because it was my first one of his. I love Royal Tenebaum's "adopted daughter Margot," another Halloween costume inspiration. I love dry humor. All around fantastic.
9. Happiness- dir. Todd Solondz. Another film that is hard to stomach. It deals with pedophilia and obsession. Phillip Seymour Hoffman at his mouth-breathingest. Last line of the movie (from the mouth of a child) "I came."
10. Me and You and Everyone We Know- dir./writ. Miranda July. I want to meet Miranda July. Judging from her writing I think she is probably like her character in this movie. The characters are all lovable, even the guy who writes and posts sex notes to high school girls in his apartment window. I love that Cody Chestnutt is referenced. This is a great movie. You want to see it. Back and Forth, forever.

Sorry I just put you through that, but this is my passion and I want to share it with you. This is not the last you will hear from me and my favorite films. It is probably not the last you will hear of these movies in particular around these parts, either.

Poppies Will Make Them Sleep

2010-04-11T11:28:00.009-04:00

I feel as though I have been suffering from bouts of some form of narcolepsy lately. I'll say up front that this is hyperbole and I don't mean to belittle or trivialize the disease. But I have nodded off the past three times I have been a passenger in a car. I don't have the same spunk and excitement for going out as I used to. It has even been hard to motivate myself to go out in this wonderful weather this weekend to Strouds Run or Fox Lake or Dow Lake or Bong Hill as I certainly would have during my undergrad days. I mean, here I am writing this, looking out the window but not engaging in the outdoors. I will remedy this by at least going on a walk after this. And I really want to orchestrate a trip to Moonville Tunnel, especially for those who have never experienced its glory.

(Here are some photos I have taken at Moonville Tunnel)

I can only hope that by defending my thesis a little earlier in the quarter that I can snap out of this funk and go back to enjoying life. But until then, to my friends with whom I hang out with in the "real world": I apologize for my MIA status as of late, and please be patient as I try to channel a more lively Melissa in the coming month. Fortunately, I have been making excellent progress on my thesis. I have very few revisions to make and a conclusion (5-10 pages) to write. At this rate, it looks as though my committee really will get two weeks to read it before the defense date.

It is official! I defend my thesis on Friday, May 7, 2010. What a relief May 8th will be. And that night I will get to celebrate with lots of friends at Tootharoo '10, a yearly camping trip at my friend Chris' cabin with dozens of our closest friends.

Healthcare Reform

2010-03-31T15:33:00.007-04:00

I apologize for my recent absenteeism. It is likely to continue for the next couple of weeks because I have a lot of thesising to do! My entire rough draft is due a week from today, a final will be due to my committee about a week after that, and in 4-5 weeks I should be defending. So if you don't hear from me before then, that is why.

I have been wanting to write about my familial struggles regarding health care reform, but I had been concentrating my energy and efforts into writing out letters and compiling documents into a simple statement about my feelings regarding health care. These packets are intended for my family, who over Grandma's birthday dinner at Ye Olde Outback Steakhouse, attacked the prospects of health care reform. Not only that, but this conversation evolved into an asinine detour regarding Obama's nation of birth.

So I will make a mini-statement here about my feelings about health care reform. I am fairly happy with the developments that have been made because they are a step in the right direction. Anyone expecting anything more radical at this juncture needs to wake up and smell the coffee (or the coffin placed on a democratic delegate's front lawn as a protest to their support of the bill). If I have learned anything from the women involved in environmental work I interviewed for my thesis, I have learned that baby steps are a necessity for any change. That being said, I applaud the passing of the health care bill, despite its flaws and despite the little matter that Representative Stupak contributed (in a nutshell, no federal funding for abortion proceedures). I only wish that this bill would have been passed years ago, when I was a college graduate under the age of 26 with no health insurance. I am very happy for those who will be able to now stay on their parents' health insurance plans until the age of 26.

What upsets me most of all about this whole debacle is how worked up, angry and violent the opposition is becoming. And I'm not necessarily referring to all this "isolated incident" talk, but rather to the reaction of my family to this whole thing. I fervently defend my political beliefs, but as a rule, I try not to bring up politics around my family, especially my extended family. Now under the Bush regime, everyone in my family was happy, I maintained my political silence around them, and for the most part, peace abounded in their lives, while I privately battled the demons of the Bush administration. But now that things are not going their way for the first time in 8 years, everyone seems to be involved in the political arena, and everyone in my family seems to have been informed by Glenn Beck. In my defense, they are the ones who have been bringing up the subject of health care reform, and I am the one voice of opposition (reason?) in their lives. Maybe it is something I need to work on, but I simply cannot maintain silence when my grandmother looks at me and tells me she is scared for what this health care reform is going to do to the elderly and this country in general. I had never, ever heard my grandma talk politics or about the government. Wanting to share with her that I don't think she should be scared, and that health care reform can be a great thing for many people including myself, I told her that I was excited for a change in a clearly broken health care system. What followed was a hodgepodge of "Where's the birth certificate?" and "This country was founded on freedom and we are losing that," among other questions and comments. Coming at me from all sides at the family-style seating, I can no longer even distinguish who said what or who attacked whom. I do know that something changed that night involving our family dynamics. I also know that I lost sleep and sanity as a result of the hubbub.

Several hours later, I suffered from another episode of an "opthalmic migraine." I put this in quotations because I am still not 100% certain that is what it is, but basically I get stroke symptoms, my vision goes haywire and my extremities and lips go numb for a short period of time. I get confused and have trouble reading, writing, and remembering. It is a scary thing to go through, and there really isn't much I can do besides ride out the 1-2 hour happening. I don't know what set it off, and it is still not even widely understood in the medical community. But I feel that maybe, just maybe, the stress about this whole health care thing has contributed to my recent episode. Due to health care reform debates, I must seek health care.

So if you see me within the next couple of weeks/months, we can talk about anything. But please lets not talk about health care reform, ok?

Update: Found this interesting...from http://www.stat.columbia.edu/~cook/movabletype/mlm/healthscatter2.png

Day-O!

2010-03-18T22:45:00.004-04:00

I have had a really bad past couple of days. Maybe you have felt the same way lately. Maybe this will cheer you up like it did for me, if you have the same nostaglia for Beetlejuice and love for Catherine O'Hara as I do.

And here's another great music moment from The Royal Tenebaums that's lovely.

That is all.

Chat Roulette

2010-03-16T22:05:00.004-04:00

So you have probably heard of or even tried Chat Roulette by now. I assume you have heard of it, because every journalist in the world on every media outlet has covered it. In case you haven't heard of it, or even if you have, check out the following clip about it from Ben Hoffman of Infomania on Current TV. (In case you haven't noticed, I think CurrentTV is the bees knees!) Chat roulette is basically a chat site using a webcam that allows you to connect with, talk to, and look at a random stranger.

I tried Chat Roulette once, and it was obviously creepy. But not necessarily because not one of the people on the other end was female, or because there was some serious groin-groping going on. I just kind of sat there, looking bored, "nexting" each person because: A)I don't have anything to say to an anonymous stranger, and B)I didn't really want them to look at me. I have a certain voyeuristic side to me, I'll admit. But the exhibitionist side, not so well developed. Are the two diametrically opposed? I wonder how many people trying chat roulette are voyeurs and how many are exhibitionists. To be honest, most of them just seemed bored.

But to comment on the penis-action I saw that fateful afternoon...Why is it that the first thing people think of when they get their hands on new technology is to turn it into something sexual? When I was introduced to chat roulette via several reports on TV, it was immediately posited as a sexually deviant place. If someone had told me about the idea of chat roulette without mentioning any connection with sexuality, would I immediately have thought of the sexual angle people would play with it? Probably.

Oh the things humanity will do under the veil of anonymity... Until someone they know recognizes the identifying birthmark of a loved one's hand as he "anonymously" masturbates to strangers over the internet.

To close this discussion, here is a clip of chat roulette in action in a way that is creative, not creepy. There is an f-bomb in there, so don't watch it on high volume with your grandma or anything.

Empowerment

2010-03-11T07:53:00.004-05:00

As you may know, my thesis is about women involved in environmentally-related organizations on the US-Mexico border. In my thesis I investigate whether or not women are becoming empowered as a result of this activism. Of those women who consider themselves empowered, I want to know if they consider themselves feminists or if they are participating in any kind of activities that seek to improve the lives of women in their community, even if they don't embrace the term "feminist."

One of the biggest challenges has been the use of language. First of all, the term "empowered" is not literally translatable into Spanish. I asked one bilingual informant who was born in Mexico and went to grad school in Great Britain if they have a term that encompasses this, if the literal translation "empoderad@" works. She told me that she would know what I meant by that term, but I have a feeling it would require an understanding of English, Spanish and the idea of empowerment in the first place in order to embrace this term.

Another challenge with language is how to define the term empowerment, even in English. Trying to find a consensus of empowerment in the academic literature is understandably hard. But I have trouble, even in casual conversation, describing what exactly empowerment is. It might be the ability to control your own life and have equal control over resources despite class, race, sex, sexuality, ethnicity... For some people, it could mean obtaining knowledge. Some may think an empowered woman is an unmarried woman because she does not rely on, or have to compromise with a partner. It varies with each individual, and I don't think it can be quantified by comparing a list of traits (i.e. person A is more empowered than person B because she exhibits more of these traits).

My own personal empowerment is not something I was born with. I didn't achieve it in high school or even early on in my undergraduate experience when I studied abroad for the first time or took my first women's studies class. It didn't even come as a result of my chainsaw-wielding experience in the deserts of New Mexico (ok, maybe just a little. I miss those chainsaw muscles). It has been a slow process, for which I don't think I could pinpoint the exact milestones of empowerment achievement. (So how do I expect my interviewees to do the same?). I do know that one aspect of my empowerment was achieved this quarter, and it has nothing to do with my academic achievements per se.

I have been taking the Women's and Gender Studies capstone course this quarter. It was my final official class of graduate school. It has been quite a departure from the gender and development courses I have taken up to this point. My previous classes have had a strong focus on the theory and literature. We would spend most of our time talking about (sometimes) abstract concepts as applied to the readings, and it felt a little detached from reality. Other students in the course would complain that talking all of this theory did not help when it came to the real world and how they would bring empowerment through their actual development work. It did not feel necessarily practical. This quarter, although the readings have been intense, the class discussion has been heavily based on personal experience. We would read about "hegemonic masculinities" and "heteronormativity in schools," for example, and then we would talk about our experiences in high school and beyond. How do you see hegemonic masculinities in your own lives? Several (many?) students in this class complained that we did not focus enough on the theory. I understand their complaints, but coming from a history of classes that went overboard on theory, it was a welcome change. It is expressly because of the emphasis on personal experience in the class that I personally felt empowered. Empowerment, to me, is feeling that your own experiences matter and are relevant to the things you dedicate your life to studying. I have spent 2 years taking classes like global feminisms where the focus is primarily on women from other nations (read: developing world, global south, etc.) and their experiences. I feel that women from other countries and their experiences were favored in this class, while the only thing I could offer were second-hand accounts of my experiences in other countries. No one ever really asked me how my life related to any of the readings. I felt distant and removed from the subject matter a lot of the time, and that shouldn't be, because I AM a global feminist!

It was nice to have a class where I could finally relate the readings and subject matter to my own life. It gave me a new perspective on things and made me feel that my experience counted for something. I was disappointed on the last day of class when our discussion mostly centered around negativity. Some students felt the class was too western-centered and that it was not theoretical enough. Once again, I understand their complaints because I have felt the same way but on the other side of the spectrum. It is sad that not everyone could take away the same empowering experience from that class as I did. Though I suppose they may have felt empowered through their participation in classes like global feminisms. The only thing is, at the end of the quarter in global feminisms, we didn't have such a discussion.

It is my hope that everyone doing research in a realm that may seem miles away from their own reality can step out of the intellectual side of big theoretical terms, just every once and a while, and see that their personal experience is important, too.

Alice in Wonderland- A minute Review

2010-03-07T15:59:00.004-05:00

I submitted this clip for consideration for the Current TV show, Rotten Tomatoes.

Here is a clip from Jan Svankmajer's version:

In addition to this short video, I have plenty to say about the movie. I wanted it to be incredible since I am such a fan of Alice in Wonderland. Unfortunately, I'm more of a fan of American McGee's video game version of Alice in Wonderland that Tim Burton's highly anticipated film. I wanted it to be darker and more sinister. Although the insanity angle is played more thoroughly in Tim Burton's new movie than Dinsey's cartoon version, I still could have used more insanity. The acting was so exaggerated it drove me crazy. Anne Hathaway's character, the White Queen, is always talking in the delicate whisper of a Disney princess, and always waving her hands back and forth whimsically. It was distracting to the point that I was hyper-aware of Hathaway's presence as an actress, and I didn't lose myself in the fantasy of Underland or any of its characters. Helena Bonham Carter (as the Red Queen) was by far the most enchanting part of the film, and I was relieved for her contribution whenever she came into a scene.

My disappointment may have partially come from the fact that I was in the fourth row at an IMAX theater, and my eyes and brain were fried after the 2 hour 3-D joyride. But I had been looking forward to this movie for a long time, and was heartbroken to be let down by Mr. Burton's rendition.

"Too Posh to Push"

2010-03-03T15:10:00.005-05:00

Before I let too much time come between now and this year's Ohio Latinamericanist Conference, I wanted to write a little about it.

By far my favorite presentation was Jill's presentation during the "Empowering Women through Change" panel (avec moi) entitled "The Rising Rate of Cesarean Birth in Brazil." I never thought I would be interested in any discourse about pregnancy or birth, but I became fascinated. The presentation was so informative and inspiring in fact, that I offered to present the information in my Women's Studies capstone class this week, as it is relevant to the topic we are covering right now which is "Maternal and Permeable Bodies." (That presentation never came to fruition, but I was totally willing!) Because I don't have any of the information in front of me, I will not explore this topic in as much depth as Jill did. I will simply touch upon the main points I remember. Some of the reflective points will be my own, but most of the information I am paraphrasing from Jill's research. She's the brains of this operation.

I want to make a disclaimer here: I am not demonizing or blaming women who do have C-Sections. This procedure exists for a reason, and I know several women in my own life who have had to deliver in this fashion. I want to explore here how c-sections are resorted to for reasons that have nothing to do with preserving the health of the mother and child.

C-section rates are rising in many places all over the world, but in Brazil the figures are unprecedented. Here you can see the rates represented all over the globe, up to 80% in private clinics in Brazil. Already, Jill's audience was engaged and gasping at the statistics.

So why are women going through a more invasive procedure during childbirth, electing to be cut open and have a higher risk of infant mortality and secondary infection in the mother? Granted, there are legitimate reasons that lead to cesarean section births. But the line of necessity often begins to blur, especially in a country where 80% of private clinic births are c-section births.

1. Pregnancy as Sickness- Pregnancy is often seen as a malady, and not associated with a very normal and natural part of the life of many women. Thus, removing a fetus like a cancer, that is with scalpel and sponge, may seem like a natural medical procedure.

2. Doctor/Patient Disconnect- Doctors are often guilty of thinking that their patients do not understand the medical procedure or terminology they are using. This is not necessarily a myth, as many people clearly are not familiar with complex medical terminology. However, this is an opportunity for the doctor to explain his or her way through the procedure and complexities, rather than just leave the patient in the dark because they “couldn’t possibly understand.”

3. The Marvels of Modern Medicine- We still live in a world of positivism. Science seems to trump all knowledge, and anything involving modern technology is said to "revolutionize" just about everything. Juxtapose shiny, sterile medical instruments with a woman grunting and pushing a being through the holiest of holy orifices, and we can start to get a picture of how the modern way is seen to be more medical, scientific and modern. An audience member shared that when she had her child through vaginal birth in the US, her friend had recently given birth in Chile via C-section. When said audience member admitted to delivering "traditionally," her friend replied, "like an Indian?" This shows that vaginal birth is even racialized.

4. Too Posh to Push- Victoria Beckham had a C-section, so did Angelina Jolie, Christina Aguilera and Claudia Schiffer. It is more expensive and thus it is a kind of status symbol. Classism is thus at play along with racism. (Update: At least Kourtney Kardashian did it this way!)

5. The Virgin and the Whore- Straight up, in layman’s terms, women want a tight vagina. Or rather, men want women to have a tight vagina. Vaginal birth clearly messes with this. But you can stay good and tight for your man. Your sacrifice is an incision just below the bikini line (which can often be small or later corrected with plastic surgery).

6. Health Insurance- Of course we cannot talk about any problems in the world of medicine without revealing the seedy underbelly that is health insurance. Jill shared that in Appalachia women who have one c-section are required to give birth through c-section every time after that in order to have it covered by health insurance.

I could go on forever, but I will stop there and I hope I have convinced you of some of the underlying reasons that many women go under the knife unnecessarily during childbirth.

I Am Not Colorblind

2010-02-23T09:38:00.009-05:00

I have a lot of students with the same name in the same class. In fact, I have two Zachs in my class this quarter, and they sit right next to each other. When I call on them in class, I call one Zach and one Zachary to try to avoid confusion. Zach is white, Zachary is black.

Yesterday, I had students circulate around the room to interview one another using the grammar we had just gone over. When it was time for students to share their findings, I asked "Who interviewed Zach?" When a lot of people raised their hand, I realized that people who had interviewed both were raising their hands. I looked over to them, saw Zach had a hat on, and said "The Zach with the white hat." My mentioning of white set off a wave of uncomfortable-ness. Zachary started cracking up, saying "white Zach in the white hat!" A lot of people in the class looked uncomfortable because of this declaration of race. As if we should all be colorblind.

There was a time when I thought that must be the best solution. That is, to avoid talking about race, pretending not to see it. Listening to the way my family would talk about people according to their race, at my graduation: "those black people sitting in front of us were so obnoxious during the ceremony," has made me aware of how one can bring up race unnecessarily, or in the wrong context. Had there been white obnoxious people in front of them during my graduation ceremony, I know they still would have complained. But because they prescribe to the idea that white is like the "default race," they would never have said "those white people sitting in front of us were so obnoxious during the ceremony." White would not have been a descriptor. I can't entirely blame my family for the way they see the world. I have tried to explain to them how I find that using race in this way is offensive. So when it is unnecessary, I really don't think race needs to be brought up.

However, it is quite another thing to pretend not to see race, to avoid even talking about it, and to generally invoke a policy of colorblindness. This doesn't make you enlightened, progressive or tolerant. It exposes ignorance. Why else do you think Stephen Colbert uses it as an ironic element to his on-screen personality on the Colbert Report? Colorblindness is something that intolerant people use as an excuse to pretend that they are tolerant. This is just like when people say "I don't care what gay (/trans/bi/queer) people do as long as they don't flaunt it in my face." It is a way to feign tolerance while simultaneously being intolerant.

I don't know if things will change in regards to this topic in my lifetime, but I know that I am ending a legacy of intolerance in my family by refusing to continue traditions aligning with the -isms of intolerance. I hope that many other people are similarly challenging ways in which they were brought up that might be similarly racist, sexist, classist and homophobic.

Career Commitment Phobia and Higher Education ADD

2010-02-20T14:15:00.006-05:00

So I am coming to the end of my thesis. I am working on my results section, which is pretty much the final nail in the ol' thesis coffin. I will of course make many alterations to the other 4 chapters I have "finished," but what I am trying to get at is, the end is nigh. With school, there is always an end in sight with each little step of the way. But most of these ends are actually little hiccups. They are little pauses in productivity where you can actually not feel guilty for taking a break because you finished an assignment. Sometimes these hiccups are very short-sighted, like when I have a 2-page reading response. Once I get that done, I have reached the end of a task, one more thing to check off the list. Some hiccups are a little longer. Most notably, once I finish a semester, I get rewarded with a little vacation before it is time to load up with a fresh set of deadlines. My big pending deadline with my thesis is less of a hiccup and more of...the cliff of higher education, maybe. This means that once this thesis is really done, and I have reached my deadlines, there is no assignment waiting for me on the other side. Well except for maybe one...Get a job.

I like the sense of accomplishment I get out of completing an assignment or a semester. It gives me an excuse to let loose, travel, sleep, play videogames, consume substances. It lets me pretend that I am not responsible for meaningful productivity, at least for a little while. I don't think that a career gives me this same kind of freedom. After working for a company for a while, sure, I'll get paid vacation (or not. See my post about working for nonprofits). But there is no final assignment per se. I just think there are less hiccups to take advantage of in the real world.

Deep down I think I secretly hope that all of this hard work will pay off in that I will eventually build up enough productivity credits so that I will never have to be productive again. I know it's not just me, but all us Generation Y-ers are on this quest to do as little as possible while making the most amount of money possible. To be blatantly and embarrassingly honest, that is what I want, too. But you know, if I could sit around and watch movies, play videogames and consume substances all day every day, it probably wouldn't take me too long to get sick of that, too. I think I've gotten to the root of my problem in that I tire of things very easily. I want to complete one thing so I can move onto the next new thing.

Case in point: If I choose a career, I am afraid that I will get sick of it very quickly. My BA is in Spanish, but I also received certificates for Environmental Studies and Latin American Studies during my undergrad. I took a bunch of Plant Biology classes to change pace from those three areas of study. Now I am working toward my masters in LAS, and my thesis focuses on gender. Now I am obsessed with feminism and gender. My "skills minor" for the program is Second Language Education which comes from a combination of teaching Spanish, English and learning Portuguese. In other words, I am all over the map. What kind of job can I find that encompasses all of these things? Because I'll tell you right now, if I choose a career as a Spanish teacher I will get bored with the endless sea of grading and lesson-planning and teaching a language instead of something a little more "enlightening." If I work for a nonprofit that focuses on "women's issues" I will get bored with such a narrow scope. If I work for an environmental organization, I will probably get sick of that, too. Just like I quit softball, horseback riding and piano lessons when I was younger, even if it's just for fun, I can't stay with the same thing forever.

That is why I am thinking more and more about pursuing a PhD. Because I am ready to move on to something completely different. By going for a PhD, maybe I will not feel trapped in what I am doing, as it will not be set in stone as a career choice. I have already thought of possible dissertation topics that have nothing to do with gender or the environment. I want to study geography or media studies.

Hi. My name is Melissa and I have higher education ADD and career commitment phobia.

Prioritize your Life

2010-02-18T10:11:00.007-05:00

You would think with my chronic and excessive worrying that I would be really good at prioritizing my most pressing obligations. My particular branch of worrying does not function that way.

Until my junior year of high school, I would say I was the opposite of a procrastinator. I would get an assignment, start working on it that day, and have it finished way before the deadline. Friends and acquaintances, panicking while throwing together an assignment at the last minute, would always blame their habit of procrastinating. Sometimes, they would ask me how I was coming along on said assignment, and I would lie, faking a procrastinator lifestyle myself. Why did I want to appear to be a procrastinator? It could have been because I wished that I had tons of cool things to keep me from doing my assigned work, or that dreaded "learning isn't cool" attitude that plagues not only high school, but college students as well (I see this play out in my Spanish class all of the time). Maybe because "everyone else" was procrastinating, I wanted to too. By my junior year of high school, I began to embrace the thrill of procrastination, as I adopted a more, *ahem*, well-rounded lifestyle that mixed work and play. Now, my very definition of self revolves around this balance between work and play. While I might not go out as much as I did in my undergrad, I cannot function in the academic realm without cramming in many hours of (what I call) recreation.

So now I am a procrastinator, I guess. At the very least, even if I do something productive, I do not prioritize. Exhibit A- This very blog. I should not be writing in this now, and if you get right down to it, I never should have started "La Pajarita Dice" in the first place. At least not until I knocked out my (supposed) number one priority, my master's thesis. (by the way, I just looked it up, and master's thesis isn't supposed to be capitalized).<-web of procrastination. In general, I make myself productive in some way to prove to myself that I am still as diligent as my early high school years. So I will feel productive after I write this entry. I will also feel productive after I look up 5 different versions of "Welcome to Tijuana" by Manu Chao to find the one most appropriate to play for my Spanish class, then think of some discussion questions to go to the song (will I write them on the board or use powerpoint?) Oh yeah, and I already planned today's class in its entirety, so I really shouldn't be adding anything. We rarely get through my whole lesson plan each class period anyway. This is my Exhibit B. Exhibit C- Then there are things I feel guilty about putting off, but when I do them I will be putting off thesis work to do them. Like working out. I have Wii Fit so I can have no excuse not to exercise. It's too cold outside, Ping Rec Center is too far, I can't leave the house right now. Well, that's what exergaming is for.

In case you haven't guessed, I am about to go do some Wii Fit to rid myself of this guilt. What will I do about the guilt I have about not even looking at a thesis-related document today? Maybe I will get some reading done for my Women and Gender Studies class, and that will be academically productive. Right? RIGHT? Ooo maybe I'll go grocery shopping! Needless to say, I will probably leave the most important thing for last.

Rage on the Internets

2010-02-14T21:36:00.008-05:00

I would like to think of myself as a normally calm and collected person, but this simply is not really the case. Thankfully I have come to shed my childhood temper tantrums, but I still get rage, a deep and blinding anger. Thankfully, I try to surround myself with positive and like-minded people to avoid rage-invoking exposures. Things I read online, however, really bring me closer than comfort to some of the people with opinions that trigger my anger. This leads to my unnecessary dwelling and unexplainable preoccupation over some racist asshole's comment on the Facebook group, [I am for] Making Drug Tests required to Get Welfare.

At this time, I will not go into the myriad of things wrong with this group. If your values align with my own, I don't need to. My problem is that I dwell on the fact that this group exists, and that people I am "friends" with are members of this group. I get so angry about this that I can't even get into an intelligible conversation or argument with anyone who believes this way because I can't craft an argument without getting emotional or belligerent (or both). And if I were to present a beautiful argument, wouldn't they just wait for their turn to present their counter-points, thus not listening to what I had to say anyway? That is probably what I would do.

Today, I was reading Sungold's post: Charging Hard against Dodge's Dude-ism. (To summarize, a feminist counter-commercial was produced as a response to Dodge's misogynist Charger commercial). I went to check out comments it was getting on youtube, expecting some "hell yeah" and "about time!"s. Instead...well take a look for yourself. As much as several hours after reading those comments and fuming over them for the first time, I was standing in line at Chipotle when I started thinking about the comments, the people who wrote the comments, and the unspeakable violent acts I wanted to perform at their expense. My face flushed up and my heart started racing. It was a Friday afternoon, I had no class, and I should have otherwise been enjoying myself thinking of my long weekend ahead. Instead, I was fuming and clouding my mind with negative thoughts because I read the words of people whose personal beliefs deviate a great deal from my own. And for what? It is not worth stressing myself out to this extent just because I am looking things of interest up on my free time.

I watch FoxNews, I get into arguments with my parents about Cash for Clunkers and homosexuality in the Bible. It is like I go out looking to pick fights. But I really don't excel at making eloquent arguments, no matter how strong my convictions. Maybe when I finally learn how to do that, I will stop spending my down time raising my blood pressure dwelling upon it.

Frustrations over our 21st Century Capitalistic World

2010-02-11T09:35:00.002-05:00

It is no wonder that the peace-loving hippies of the 1960's sold out, turning in their flower power for a corporate job and a briefcase. Nonprofit work just does not bring home the bacon....

Here is some context for the rant that will follow: Through his Masters in Public Administration Program, Jose has been working tirelessly on a business plan for the Athens local Habitat for Humanity for a ReStore, which is a community shop where low-income individuals and families can purchase discounted building materials. Although he gets a little school credit, he is essentially working for free, often 20 hours a week on this project. Recently, one of the key coordinators for this project told Jose that with his knowledge of the business side of the project, Jose himself could manage the ReStore when it gets up and running. The salary for such work? $20,000. I am not certain, but I am pretty sure that health benefits are not included.

Here at OU, Group 3 hires, professors with PhDs mind you, are only offered $2,500 per class per quarter, and once again, no health benefits. In fact, it is a well-known fact that educators in general are not paid enough, considering how crucially important their job is. Education truly is the foundation of the lives of not only academics, but everyone, really. We all start out with a relatively clean slate, I believe, and through our families, our communities and our experience in school, we become who we are later in life. But I diverge.

Why are nonprofit workers and educators paid so little when their professions mean so much to so many people? Why does an executive at Proctor and Gamble get paid a buttload for essentially selling products? If Obama really wants to make this nation CHANGE, then why does he not provide incentives for people who stray away from the profitable sector in lieu of a career more...I'll use "altruistic" for lack of a better term, but Ayn Rand would surely hate me. I guess it is because the US thrives a lot more off of profit-building than making the world a better place for the marginalized.

In Jose's words: "Do you know who probably does have a program with incentives like that? Chavez." And he is right. Granted, every day I like Hugo Chavez a little less. There just isn't enough room for him AND his ego. But that discussion is for another day. One thing that Hugo Chavez has done right has been his social programming.

So what kind of incentives do I think should be offered? Maybe people should be (financially) encouraged to study certain subjects, like education and social work. And then there is the age-old argument that teachers should be paid more. In my opinion, teachers have the most important job in the world, and I though that long before I ever even thought I might teach. And I hear the counter-argument over and over again: "If you pay teachers more then people will try to become teachers because they want money, not for the love of teaching." Well, Obama is apparently trying to get the ball rolling to pay teachers more, but what worries me is that it is "based on how their students perform." Not that I don't think teachers should be paid more if their students perform above average, but it is the whole idea of this "performance" that bothers me. Nowadays, teachers are handed scripts to read verbatim in their classes, and McDonalds sponsors health class curriculum. Eventually under this system, will physical teachers' bodies even be necessary? Or will we just head our classrooms with a computer and fit the students with shock collars to provide disciplinary measures?

Once again, I diverge. Moving on to non-profit work... How are we supposed to make any kind of living on the wages of nonprofit work? I do not think many people are. That is why for the most part we age, get more conservative, and sell out just like the hippies. If you have mouths to feed, a family (and yourself) to take care of, you're going to head over to Proctor and Gamble rather than Habitat for Humanity if they offer you four times as much money plus benefits in exchange for the same skill set.

When I set out to do my thesis research, I expected to see the headquarters of environmental organizations brimming with mothers fighting for environmental justice for their communities and the futures of their children. Instead, thirteen out of the nineteen women I interviewed were not mothers at all. Of those six that are mothers, five of them only started their environmental work after their children became independent.

I would like to say that it isn't all about money. I want to live comfortably but I don't need luxury. But my generation has been a spoiled one, and the one coming up is even moreso. I know my parents scraped and struggled to give me the world. Although neither of them went to college, and I do not know their salaries per se, I know that if I were not an only child, my family would have struggled financially to produce the lifestyle I have become accustomed to. A la Daniel Quinn's Ishmael, I am already too "Taker" for my own good. I am too weak to just surrender my Taker lifestyle in exchange for a leaver one. But what compromises am I going to have to make in my future if I want to live a life of service in education or the nonprofit sector? Does my worry about money run completely contrary to what I should believe as an "altruistic" individual. Maybe Ayn Rand had a point, but it saddens me that people in the US (and now the world over as globalization leaves no stone unturned) are encouraged to be so selfish, so individualistic.

I could go on and on and on, but I will stop here. Am I going to sell out some day? One more thing to worry about...

The lift

2010-02-10T09:29:00.002-05:00

Elevators can be awkward spaces to share with strangers, and my experience yesterday was no exception. Usually I'm a stairs kind of person. No, I swear. When I was little, I saw this episode of Our House where Wilford Brimley gets stuck on an elevator with an infant and some other guy, and it really traumatized me. In the event of the necessity to use an elevator, I used to lie to my parents and tell them that elevators gave me motion sickness, so I had to take the stairs. Well, I guess I have gotten over that fear, but in general elevators don't play into my day-to-day. But yesterday I had to go back and forth between the 2nd and basement floor of Gordy Hall, so I opted for the elevator. I got on with an awkward gentleman who started to get off while I was getting on, but then realized it was the wrong floor for him. He pushed the "close elevator door" button frantically. When he arrived to his floor, he proceeded to press said button AGAIN on his way OUT of the elevator while I was still in it. As the door closed, I saw him almost bump into several people on his way out of the building. On top of all this, I couldn't help but think of the placebo button.

Blog numero uno

2010-02-09T13:44:00.002-05:00

Oh dear, it appears as though I have started a blog. And why would I want to do that? Well, I will tell you right now, friend. As I approach the end of my penultimate quarter at Ohio University, I realize that although graduate school for me has been a stress-filled adventure, I thrive on academic discussions. My interests include, but are not limited to:
1. Feminism and Gender studies (study of gender within the media, studies of femininities and masculinities, the study of women and the environment)
2. Race studies
3. Latin America in general -> Mexico more specifically, and Venezuela on occasion.-> Tijuana/San Diego most specifically. Haiti has also always fascinated me from what I have learned from Randall Robinson and Franz Fanon
4. Environmental Studies- my knowledge of this is more on the political and/or educational side than the scientific side of, say, climate change.
5. Literature (although my formal education seems to be getting in the way of my pleasure reading)
6. Foreign Languages (Spanish and Portuguese)
7....and along with foriegn languages, travel
8. Teaching (something I never thought I would find such an interest in, but now as a Spanish teacher, it's a pretty big part of my life)
9. Film- I love movies. Especially the films of Vincent Gallo, Werner Herzog, Wes Anderson, Harmony Korrine, Lars von Trier, and Alejandro González Iñárritu to name the tip top.

Those are my interests right off the top of my head thinking about classes I've taken, research I've participated in, literature I've read, and things, places and people with which/whom I have come into contact. Of course my discussions on this blog will not be limited to such materials.
Right now might not be the best time to begin such an endeavor, as it will probably distract me from the real tasks at hand in my life, which are:

1. Assignments for my capstone course for the Women's and Gender Studies certificate
2. My thesis on Women and Environmental Advocacy on the US-Mexico Border
3. Lesson planning and teaching Spanish 112- the second in a series of 3 beginning Spanish classes.
4. Figuring out what life will be for me after I graduate with my Master's Degree in Latin American Studies (will I move to San Diego or am I doomed to stay in cold and snowy Ohio, working at Columbus State?)
5. Research assistance-ship hours with my academic advisor/Chair for my thesis committee, Risa Whitson.
6. Planning my presentations for A.) the International Student Union Research Symposium and B.) the Ohio Latinamericanist Conference.

As I finish up my Master's Degree I will probably be blogging sporadically and mostly about content pertaining to my classes and my thesis. As I mentioned previously, I am starting this blog so that I can continue to engage in meaningful and thoughtful "conversation" about my interests and passions. I encourage readers to post comments so that a dialogue can grow from my comments and questions. I welcome your ideas, comments, suggestions and questions. Thanks for reading!